In My Life
by clemi
Summary: The summer before my senior year was a hot one, and a wild one. I wasn't a kid anymore, and for the first time I felt it too. This is my story. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Obviously I don't own the outsiders, but I'm completely in love with them. **

**T for language. Enjoy!**

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"Hey kid, are you deaf?" I hear Steve say in that snarky way that he seems to adopt in every conversation he has with me.

"Huh?"

"I was just asking why you were so quiet," Two-Bit pipes up.

"Ain't I always?"

"Yeah but especially today, it's like you're a damn mute."

"Oh, you mean the entire ten minutes we've been in your car? You're right, there's got to be something wrong with me."

"I told you," Steve rolls his eyes. "I told you he was getting mouthy. What's the matter, you get into another fight with your boyfriend?"

I scowl. "Yeah, you'd know all about that wouldn't you, Steve?"

I hear Two-Bit's howling laugh and Steve leans over the seat to swat at me. "Smart-ass," He mutters underneath his breath. Sometimes I think Steve Randle and I will never get along.

"Well I can't blame you for being grumpy today, Pone. Schools out, what'll happen to an innocent little boy like you out on the rough streets of Tulsa?"

"Well I know I'm not going to go drink myself into oblivion and cruise around for chicks and trouble, like you greasers."

Steve kicks his feet up onto the dashboard and lights a cigarette. "Chicks and trouble are synonyms, kid."

"Shoot, Steve, I didn't even think you knew what a synonym was."

Steve smirks and shakes his head slowly. "It was Miss Kaminski, man, she sure knew how to teach."

"Plus she had pretty big jugs," Two-Bit says.

"That too."

"If they had one of her in every class room, I swear I'd like school."

I lean my head against the back of my seat, after tapping Steve's shoulder for a cigarette. "You already like school."

Two-Bit considers this. "Yeah, but I might actually apply myself. I swear if either of you puts a weed out on my upholstery I'll skin you."

"Are you serious?" I snort.

"Yeah, your cars already a piece of shit, we'd be doing you a favor."

Two-Bit flicks him in the head. "How's that?"

"See there's already a burn right there, if I put one here it'll match real nice."

"Shut up, man." Two-Bit snatches the cigarette away from Steve and takes a drag.

"Always go for the older ladies, kid. They won't disappoint you, won't be bitching about prom dresses like high school girls."

"Ain't you dating a high school girl, Steve?"

"I stand by my statement," He shrugs.

"'Sides, when have either of you ever dated an older woman?" When neither of them responds I nod my head in confirmation.

"Now, dated is a very general term," Two-Bit looks at me through the rear-view mirror. "I bet you I've been with a couple of older women, can't really recall their names right now, but that's probably just because I was rip roaring drunk."

"What do you know about chicks anyway? I don't remember you ever having a girl," Steve says lighting another cigarette, giving Two-Bit a sideways glance as he does.

I know it's coming before it happens, it doesn't make my face any less red.

Two-Bit cackles. "You didn't hear about what happened at Jenning's party?"

"Two-Bit…" I try, but he's on a roll.

"Oh man, have I got a story for you."

I'll spare you the kinky little details that Two-Bit did not. About halfway through the story I can't meet Steve's eyes without turning red. I just glare out the window and make a silent vow to get back at Two-Bit for this somehow. I was never going to tell him anything again. He couldn't keep his trap shut for the life of him.

"I can't believe it, you and Laurie Hill? And here I was actually starting to believe all those girls at school gabbing 'bout you being a gentleman."

I want to smack that smug grin off of his face. I wouldn't have minded Steve knowing as much if it didn't give him leverage. He was always looking for new and interesting ways to screw me over with Darry.

"I swear if either of you tell Darry…" I don't finish my sentence because whenever I meet either of their eyes they just smirk and wiggle their eyebrows. I groan. I can't wait to get out of this car.

"Relax, kid, you should be proud." Two-Bit says.

"Yeah, you're finally interesting." Steve adds. "And here I was all worried about you."

"Steve, I don't know what to say." I reply sarcastically.

"I was starting to think you were fruity or something."

Two-Bit laughs the rest of the way home, and laughs even harder when I get out and slam the door, so does Steve.

"Woah there, Pone." Soda says when I come storming through the door and almost knock him on the ground. "What's got you in a funk on the first day of summer break?"

I hear the door shut and close again and mumble "Nothing," before I have to suffer another minute with the likes of them. I walk into the kitchen and grab a piece of chocolate cake.

"Hey, Ponyboy." Darry says as he opens the fridge.

"What are you and Soda doing home so early?"

Darry grabs the bottle of chocolate milk and kicks the fridge closed. "Don't know about Sodapop, but the boss gave me the weekend off."

I nod and finish my cake before heading back into the living room, praying that Steve and Two-Bit have headed out. I'm not that lucky.

When I walk in everyone's silent, and I get the same feeling like I did in the car, I know it's coming. I have no idea in hell why I left Soda alone with Steve and Two-Bit after their little gossip fest.

"So…Pony-Pone-Pone, Good Old Ponyboy." Soda shoots me a cheeky grin.

"God dammit, Two-Bit!" I practically shout at him.

He holds his hands up in mock surrender. "This one was all, Stevie."

I turn my scowl to Steve who just raises his eyebrows.

"You got something to say, kiddo, you go ahead and say it."

"_Assholes_, I swear if Darry finds out-"

"If I find out what?" Darry says on his way to his recliner.

I give each of them a pointed look. "Nothing, Dar, Two-Bit just drank all of the beer again."

"Two-Bit," Darry starts. "I don't give a hoot if you're broke and living on saltines, you're buying us beer."

Two-Bit shakes his head at me. "Yes, master."

Darry already has the newspaper open, blocking his face from view. This gives Two-Bit a chance to chuck a pillow at my head. I look back over at him and he glances at Darry, when he sees he's still distracted, he takes his thumb and slowly drags it across his throat.

"Hey Pone, could you get me the mail?" Darry asks.

"Where?"

"I think most of it's in my room," Things have been a lot better with Darry and I. Sometimes we get along just as well as me and Sodapop. This is usually right about the time where I mess everything up.

When I come back to the living room with the mail everyone's silent and Darry has stopped reading the paper. Everyone has a strange sort of smile on their face. It's clear as day on Two-Bit's face, he's doing his best not to laugh.

"You dick!" I shout and everyone but Darry loses it. "I ain't ever telling you anything again, you blabbermouth son of a bitch!"

"Watch your mouth, kiddo." Darry says, grinning.

"I don't get why you're so embarrassed, Pone." Soda says. "She's a good looking chick."

I wouldn't have been embarrassed if it was just some greaser girl they were talking about, but Laurie wasn't trashy. She'd been in my AP English class. She wasn't a Greaser or a Soc, just middle class. We talked more than anything that night at the party. I had never really gotten into bull sessions, not like Soda, Two, or Steve.

"Our little tyke is growing up!" Two-Bit gets off of the couch to pinch my cheek.

"OK, that's enough," Darry gets up from his spot too. He points at Soda, "You, go make dinner, and you," He turns to me and I see the corners of his mouth twitch up. "Wear a condom."

I hear Soda and Steve snickering behind me.

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"You know," Two-Bit says from his spot on the floor, later that night. "I never figured girls like Laurie were your type."

I lie on the couch watching the TV, but not really watching. Soda and Steve have barely looked up from their game of cards, whether they're playing poker or BS, I'm not sure. Darry sits at the kitchen table going through the bills, but he looks alert, like any minute he's ready to break up a fight between Soda and Steve.

"What kind of girl is Laurie?"

He shrugs, he very well might be buzzed, I can never tell with Two-Bit. He's as crazy sober as he is drunk. "I don't know, man, I hear she's some kind of hippie. She goes around telling people 'bout how she's heading to San Fran after graduation."

"Fucking hippies," I hear Steve mutter under his breath.

"What's my type?"

"I always thought it was Socy girls, you liked that Cherry girl for so long." Soda adds.

I think about this for a minute. "I never really _liked_ her, I just thought she was interesting, neat to talk to."

Now we've gotten Steve's attention. "That's what I never got about you, you'd rather talk with a girl than hook up."

"A high society girl would never hook up with some filthy greaser like Ponyboy," Two-Bit chuckles and hiccups.

"Who said I like high society girls?"

"Not high society, like…uh…virtuous, you know? Superman, what's the word I'm looking for?" Two-Bit asks.

"Classy," Darry replies, not even looking up.

"Doesn't everybody want a classy girl?"

Two-Bit snorts. "Killjoys, the lot of them."

"Every one I've met can't seem to get the stick out of their ass," Steve says.

Soda shrugs. "I like classy girls, Mom was a classy girl." I don't bother to add that Mom had Darry when she was 18.

"What kind of girls you like, Soda?"

"Pretty girls."

"I mean what they act like."

"Fun girls, I like girls who know how to have fun." He decides.

"Bull shit," Steve shoots Soda a wicked grin. I guess I know what game they're playing.

Soda gives Steve a grin just as evil. He takes the two cards from the top of the deck and flips them over, two twos. "Read 'em and weep, Stevie."

"Aw, son of a bitch." Steve growls and takes the pile of cards, with much more colorful language than I'm letting on.

"What about you?" Two-Bit says and points at Steve.

"What about me?"

"What kind of girl you into?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "Are you having fun with your little research project?"

"What's the matter, afraid word will get around to Evie?" Two-Bit gives him a mischievous grin. His eyes are glazed over and his movements are slowed and clumsy. He's buzzed, probably drunk; probably won't remember this conversation in the morning.

"I like tough girls, I don't want them crying all over me. Evie knows how to handle her shit, pretty fun to argue with too." Steve smiles. For the first time I think I agree with him, he and Evie were made for each other. It isn't fun to admit it, but, when Steve gets mad it's scary, Evie's one of the few people who will stand up to him and give it right back twice as bad.

Two-Bit turns to me and cups one hand over the side of his mouth, pretending to whisper, but really talking loud enough for Steve to hear. "That really means he's whipped, _big time_."

"Oh can it, Two-Bit. Kathy had you by the balls for like three years." Steve laughs. "You couldn't even go to the bathroom without her permission."

Two-Bit smiles and shakes his head. "No, you go it wrong, it was Donna. That one was Donna, man, she sure was a looker."

"And still ranks higher as biggest bitch than Sylvia," Steve says.

"That's something to be proud of," Soda fake yawns and stretches his arms to take a card sticking out of the collar of his shirt. Steve narrows his eyes at him.

"So you like mean girls?" I furrow my brow at Two-Bit.

He chuckles. "Nope, that was a one time deal. Never had anything to do with them again. Now? I like funny girls, I just can't think a girl is decent if she don't have a good sense of humor."

"I guess that just leaves you, Superman." Steve nods toward Darry.

"Smart, girl's got to have some brains."

Two-Bit's face is pink with satisfaction. "I feel so close to y'all now." He says in a feminine voice.

"What did you see in Hill anyways?" Steve asks.

"I don't know, like I said she was interesting. Just the way she talked about stuff was cool, I felt like she knew everything." I don't mention the fact that after we hooked up she told me once she got settled down in San Fran that I could visit, that she _wanted _me to visit.

"Ponyboy, I swear if you run away with that harlot and join a hippy colony I'll skin you." Two-Bit says in a bad imitation of Darry's voice.

Darry gives him an amused look. "Mathews, if you don't stop mooching off of us I'm going to skin _you_."

I laugh with Sodapop and Steve. But I was really thinking of Laurie going and living in a hippie colony out west. It doesn't sound too bad. I think it'd be cool. Maybe I'm just crazy to get out of Tulsa. I'm not the only one.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading loves. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. I don't own the Outsiders, just Billy.**

**Enjoy!**

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"Can the little Ponyboy come out and play tonight?" Two-Bit skips into our kitchen a few minutes after Darry gets home from work.

I stand at the sink washing a few plates that were left out after lunch. I just raise my eyebrow at Darry, waiting for the excuses and reasons for me to stay home tonight.

"Sure," He shrugs and gets an apple from the fridge.

I was partly hoping that he would say no. I just wasn't in the mood to get into anything wild tonight, and you couldn't spend time with Two-Bit without getting into anything wild. I'd rather stay home and read a book.

"I don't know Two-Bit…"

He groans. "Come on, pal, you're killing me! You've been moping around the house the entire week."

"I just went out with you Wednesday."

"Yeah, and now it's Friday, so you are going to come out with me tonight. You're never going to meet any new chicks by staying inside all the time."

"Who said I wanted to meet any new chicks?"

"You _need _to meet some new chicks."

I sigh in defeat and head to my bedroom to grab a clean t-shirt and shoes. I won't need a jacket, it's boiling outside. I brush my teeth and put some more pomade in my hair and we're heading out. Two-Bit's clunker of car is waiting in front of our house. When I get in I'm greeted by a familiar smell, a mix of cigarette smoke, cologne, and beer.

"Two-Bit, I know this little outing isn't about me, so why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

He gives me a long look then shakes his head. "Damn intuitive little bastard."

"Two-Bit…"

"Fine," He starts the car and peels onto our street. "Kathy and I split up."

"Wow," It's not a surprise. He and Kathy have been on and off for the past year. I've only met her a few times; she's real sweet, with curly blonde hair and the biggest bluest eyes you've ever seen. She was only two years younger than Two-Bit, but those eyes of hers made her look even younger. They hit a bump in the road when Two-Bit graduated, by some miracle, and she still had a year of high school left. Age aside she was ten times more mature than Two-Bit. If I'm being honest sometimes I thought she was too good for him, then I'd kick myself thinking of all the times my buddy had my back.

"It wasn't too pretty, and this time I think it's for good." He grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know, I think I've seen it coming for a while. I just…don't deserve her. She deserves a guy who'll take care of her, who has a job and can give her a family in a decent part of town."

"Shoot, Two-Bit, you could give her those things if you tried."

He snorts. "I didn't ask you about job advice, I asked you about girlfriend advice. I need some of that famous Curtis insight."

"Man," I grin at him, and he gives me an odd look. "I think you love her."

"Excuse me?"

"You love her, but you're scared, you don't want to commit to a girl. That's why you guys are fighting all of the time, you both want the same thing but neither of you is willing to admit it. Well, maybe she is, but you sure as hell aren't."

"Is that all?"

"You don't want to be an adult, you don't want to be responsible for anyone or have to deal with adult problems."

"Do you blame me, look at Darry? He was my age when he had to take care of you and Sodapop and look what it did to him." He says defensively.

"What are you going to do about it?"

He gets his Cheshire cat grin then. "Man, I'm going to get me a round of beers and a pretty lady."

"Yeah? Where are you going to get that?"

"Buck's," He looks at my surprised expression smugly.

"Darry will kill me if he knows I went to Buck's."

Two-Bit starts to drive with his knees and digs around in the glove box. "Why? You're 16, you're a big boy."

"Try telling that to him, he still doesn't like me going downtown by myself."

"Sheesh, Pone, even I don't go downtown by myself anymore, not unless I'm carrying my blade." He takes a pack of cigarettes out of the glove box and groans when he sees it's empty.

I turn to him now, my brow furrowed. "What's the deal?"

"You really don't know?" I shake my head and he lets out a low whistle. "Mr. Timothy Shepard is waging war against the RK, it's getting pretty bloody."

"What does that have anything to do with me going downtown?"

"Well it ain't a secret that we're pretty friendly with Shepard, we've helped them in rumbles they've helped us. We're just playing it safe is all."

I widen my eyes. "What started it?"

He gives me a deadpan look. "What do you think?"

"Girls," I sigh.

"It's always girls, buddy. I love 'em, but they sure know how to rile us guys up."

"Depends on the girl," I think of Cherry, she wouldn't ever want to start a gang fight or stir up trouble. Laurie was too damn smart to get herself involved with anything like that. Then I think of Angela Shepard and all the other girls from our side of town who liked to have that kind of power. I'd never want a girl like that.

"Must be some girl."

I try to picture her, wonder if she really is some girl worth fighting for. I picture her the way Two-Bit is probably picturing her, soft blonde hair, curvy, with a knockout smile. She's loud, her laugh is loud, and she chews on her gum too hard. Then I picture someone else, bright eyed, and kind. She's smart and optimistic and doesn't care whether I'm a greaser. That's the kind of girl I'd fight for. Maybe she doesn't like all of the fighting, maybe she wishes it'd stop, maybe she wishes it had never started in the first place. I start getting real cut up about this girl who probably just wants to be with the guy she loves, a girl I don't even know. "Who side do you think she's on?"

Two-Bit shrugs. "No one's, I don't even know this chick and I'm starting to feel sorry for her."

"Do you think Soda would come with us to Buck's?"

"Not for what I'm going for, maybe just to shoot the shit, he's still sweet on Sandy you know."

I rub my forehead. How many times have I wanted to tell Soda to forget about her, call her some god-awful name and shake him till he agreed with me? But I knew he never would. "Damn," Is all I can think to say.

"I've tried, buddy, I've set him up with plenty of girls."

"We just have to find the right one," I'm on a mission now, I'm going to find Soda the perfect girl at Buck's. I know it's stupid to get excited about, but it'll be better than sitting around watching Two-Bit get shit faced.

A lot of cars are parked in front of Buck's. It's a Friday night, what'd I expect? Girls sit on the hood of cars smoking and tipping their heads back to laugh. Guys wrestle with each other and pass around drinks. I hear Hank Williams', _Hey, Good Lookin'_ playing inside. It's going to be a long night if I have to listen to _Hank Williams _the whole time.

Once we're inside Two-Bit leaves saying he's going to get us some drinks. I'm not planning on drinking, and knowing Two-Bit I won't see him till the end of the night, and wind up having to drive his sorry behind home.

I feel an arm sling around my shoulders and I stiffen. "It's about damn time." I crack a grin when I see the owner is Curly. "Curtis, I thought you'd never come visit me."

He and I've been buddies since grade school. I still have the scar from our game of chicken on my index finger. To my surprise he looks less and less like Tim everyday. He's tall and lean and has a hard look to him, but his features are dopey instead of sharp-like Tim's.

I thank god for Curly Shepard at that moment. He takes me into different rooms and introduces me to different people. He gets a game of pool going between us and another guy I recognize from school. He just graduated.

"You guys know any chicks I could set someone up with?" I ask them.

Curly smirks at me. "Are we talking about you?"

"No, my brother."

The other guy, Billy, leans on his pool stick. "I wouldn't bet on finding a girl in this joint you'd want to keep around for more than one night, if you know what I mean."

"How's your big brother doing?" I ask. I expect Curly to tell me to fuck off and mind my own business, but I'm guessing he's helped himself to a few drinks. He's as loose as a goose.

"All he ever talks about is the RK, he's turning into a real pain in my ass."

Billy grins at him. "Yeah, keep blabbing on and on about it, let's just wait and see if you have the balls to say it to his face."

I roll my eyes at the fight that's sure to ensue and head over to the bar, searching in vain for a pepsi. What I find is much more interesting than a dumb old soda.

Sylvia Belle is sitting on a stool alone. Sylvia had become somewhat of a legend after Dally died. People said she went to live on the reservation with her Indian husband. Some said she headed to Hollywood to make it as an actress or a model. I guess she's been in Tulsa all this time. Her hair is no longer platinum blonde, but brown, it suits her better.

She turns to me and beckons towards the seat next to her. "Won't you be a gentleman and keep a lady company, Curtis?" I didn't know she knew my name. "How's it going?"

"Great," I try and think of things to say. I can't help acting lame, she makes me nervous. All girls that wear red lipstick make me nervous.

She chuckles. "I ain't going to bite, sweetie."

I clear my throat. "I didn't know you were still in Tulsa."

"Probably thought I was squeezing out kids in Wyoming or whatever shit people have been saying about me."

"I never heard people say you were pregnant."

She raises an eyebrow then smiles. "I appreciate the lie, but it wasn't a very good one." She bumps my shoulder with hers. This isn't the Sylvia I remember, the Sylvia I remember would've cursed more and probably slugged me in the shoulder instead.

"You're welcome I guess," She looks amused.

"What are you doing in Buck's, I recall Darry being a real hard ass."

"He still is, and he doesn't know I'm here." I swivel the seat around so that I can look out into the crowd, I don't see Two-Bit. "Two-Bit dragged me here, and I decided I 'd look for a girl to set Soda up with."

"You ain't going to find one here."

"That's what everyone's been telling me." Then I say the first thing that comes to mind. "You know anything about the feud between Shepard and the RK?"

"I guess, why?"

"I just wanted to know about…the girl."

She nods. "So does everybody else. You boys are always fighting for our honor, it's stupid."

"What happened?"

"Well, long story short, Tim's sweet on this one girl in particular. Beautiful, smart, nice, the whole shebang." She says all of this with a grim smile. "Turns out little miss perfect use to go with one of the RK, not a very nice guy. So one night, in the very building you're in now, some serious shit went down. This RK guy starts getting a little mouthy and rough with said princess, he then drags said princess upstairs to _teach her a lesson_. Shepard happens to catch him in the act, and the rest is history."

"The RK deserve whatever Shepard throws at them."

Sylvia rolls her eyes. "All the same, what about what she wants. After what happened to her, you really think she wants this fighting, you think she wants someone fighting her battle for her? Hell no, but you boys, you don't care. You're selfish, all she really wants is to be supported, and comforted."

"Did you know her?"

"I met her a couple of times, sweet little thing. Real good looking, reminded me of Natalie Wood."

"Ponyboy," I hear Curly call for me, he gives me a quizzical look when he sees who I'm talking to. "Hey, Sylvia. Come one I got something to show you, Curtis."

I smile at Sylvia. "It was nice talking to you," She simply nods and goes back to staring at the wall.

Curly drags me into a room that's in the back. There are maybe five people in there, three guys and two girls. They are passing around a joint. I'd only ever tried marijuana once, with Mark Jennings, I don't know how he talked me into it. I didn't like it, it made me feel paranoid, my skin was crawling and I'd jump at every little sound. Mark said everybody reacted to it differently; he couldn't stop laughing.

I guess Curly's already taken a hit because he doesn't notice when I sneak out. The loud music and smoke is giving me a headache. I'm ready to leave, I don't care about setting Soda up anymore, I just want to go home and sleep.

I find Two-Bit tongue tied with some redhead. It takes a while for me to get his attention and I feel awkward just standing there watching them.

"Two-Bit!" I shout.

He pulls away and looks at me with a dazed expression. "Ponyboy, my friend." His face splits into a grin. "Where'd you go, man, I was so worried about you."

The redhead giggles and whispers something in Two-Bit's ear before running off somewhere. He just keeps giving me that stupid grin.

"You're tired, you want to go home." I say and he nods.

"How'd you know?" He stumbles when he tries to take a step toward me, almost face plants but I catch him and put his arm around my shoulders. It's not easy to walk considering he puts all of his weight on me. "Did you find a pretty little broad?"

"No, I ran into Sylvia an-"

The noise that comes out of his mouth is somewhere between a laugh and a scream. "You got it on with Sylvia?"

"What? No!"

"Liar, liar," He laughs. "Smoochy, smoochy, smoochy, someone's in love."

I roll my eyes and shove him in the backseat of his car. "Can it, Two-Bit. You're the one that was making out with the redhead."

"Redhead…what?" He says when I get into the driver seat.

"The girl you were swapping spit with?" I say incredulously.

He sits up with a look of utter bewilderment. If I weren't so tired I would laugh. "She was a redhead?"

"_Yes_."

"What the fuck," He says angrily. "I thought she was a blonde. That wench."

"Alright, buddy, calm down."

"She lied to me! I trusted her and she lied to my face!" He starts crying and crumbles in hysterical mess on the seat. I watch him in shock. "They're always tricking me, don't listen to them, Pone."

I start the car. "I won't Two-Bit, go to sleep." I'm glad he won't remember this conversation in the morning. I hope he'll have a killer hangover too.

When we get back to the house I leave him in the back seat. He's snoring and I don't want to have to bring him in the house in his condition. Darry isn't sitting in his armchair, so I guess he's gone to sleep. It's strange, not having him wait up for me and nag me about where I've been. Maybe he does think I'm old enough to take care of myself. Maybe this summer will be different.

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**A/N: Let me know what you think! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I don't own the Outsiders, just a well loved book by the same name.**

**Enjoy! More mature content in this chapter.**

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"Hop in, Curtis." I'm sitting on the porch when I hear Curly calling for me. Catcher in the Rye in one hand a cigarette in the other. I don't know why I'm reading about Holden Caulfield, I never particularly liked the book. Holden kind of pissed me off, this rich kid gets to spend a free weekend in New York and he's complaining. It is pretty funny though.

Curly looks at me expectantly from the driver's seat of a red Chevrolet. He stole it no doubt; the paint job is too new looking for a Shepard to afford.

"Thanks, Curly, but I don't really fancy being picked up by the fuzz over a stolen vehicle-and a Chevrolet at that."

He cracks a grin. "Golly, this ain't stolen. I bought it, with my hard earned money."

"You're right about that, holding up a gas station ain't easy."

"Shut the hell up, Curtis, and quit acting so snooty."

I sigh and close my book. "Where'll we be going on this little adventure?"

"I don't know, maybe head downtown and see of there's any action. Better than bumming around on your porch all day."

"I don't think that's such a good idea? I don't want any trouble downtown."

He rolls his eyes just like I knew he would. That's what makes Tim a better gang leader than Curly. Besides Curly being a bit dim, he's predictable. Tim Shepard is another story. He could give Dallas Winston a run for his money when it came to ruthlessness. Tim Shepard scares the shit out of me.

"You scared of the RK?"

"If you're asking me if I'm scared of a bunch of a sociopaths, then yes."

"Shit, they're all talk."

I narrow my eyes. "Were they all talk when they beat up Tim's little girlfriend?"

I hit a nerve. Curly stiffens and grips the wheel. "You don't know what you're saying, Curtis." He turns away from me and I think he's going to leave until he adds, "I got a heater-they won't be bothering us."

I shrug and stamp out my cigarette before getting in the car with Curly. I do have ulterior motives. I'm still curious about this girl Sylvia told me about, the one who looks like Natalie Wood and is worth fighting for.

"If I'm risking the chance of getting into it with the RK, I at least want to know what's going on."

Curly fiddles with the radio, curses when he switches to a station that is playing the Beatles, and finally settles on the Rolling Stone's Route 66. His hands are shaking when he asks me to light his cigarette.

"Tim don't want me telling people all about it."

"C'mon, Shepard, don't tell me you're still letting him boss you around." I say feeling a little guilty about pulling the big brother card. But you had to act a certain way for Curly to respect you, I'd never be smarting off this much to the gang. "'Sides, I can keep my mouth shut good."

He scowls at me. "It's a whole lot worse than I guess you've heard, it's about a whole lot more than Jones messing with Alice. We've all been aching to go at it for about a year now."

"Why's that?"

"We've been tolerating each other ever since they helped us out in a rumble against Brumly. We make business deals with 'em, pick up chicks who got brothers in their gang-they don't like that too much, though. But a few months ago," He seems to pause for dramatic effect, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "A few guys jumped ship, swam over and joined us. That didn't sit too well with the leader, that's the thing with them, once you're in there's no going back. They'll make sure of that. Shoot, I'd rather be in county than with the RK."

After all that, the only question that comes to mind is what kind of business did they do? I'm utterly hopeless.

"So the gun was already loaded, this guy Jones simply pulled the trigger."

"Yeah, or some other poetic shit like that. Damn, Curtis, why ain't you writing a book or something?"

"Tell me more about Alice,"

He shrugs like he could care less, when earlier he looked like he would beat me to a pulp. "At least Tim's got himself a decent girl for once."

"How's she doing?"

"Pretty bad, Jones sure did a number on her."

"All he did was beat her up, right?"

All I need is the dark look he casts my way to know the answer to my question. I had heard stories about stuff like that. Dallas told me once before he got sent to the cooler, that he had seen it happen in New York. He went into far greater detail than I did, it made me sick the way he talked about it just to make me cringe. A couple years ago it was so bad with the Socs, girls wouldn't even walk around alone for fear of what they might do to them. Our gang thought it was silly; the Socs weren't the type to do something like that, force themselves on girls. It wasn't until this second I questioned that thought.

"I've never seen Tim so mad, your big brother wouldn't have even stood a chance against him when he was like that."

"Has anybody gotten hurt?" I ask, ignoring his last comment.

"Nothing too serious, Billy said one of 'em came at him with a knife."

"I was right, they are sociopaths."

He opens his mouth like he's about to say something then closes it again. He does a few more times but stops once the cigarette that was dangling between his lips falls on his jeans. He curses and starts to pick at the black mark it made.

"Will…will you do me a favor, man?"

I raise my eyebrows at his serious tone. "Sure."

"Just…will you just watch out for, Angela. I don't want something to happen to her like…" He turns away embarrassed.

I smile and pat him on the shoulder. "Are you blushing?"

"What?" He gives me a horrified look. "Get bent! And will you do it or not?"

"Of course, I'll get the rest of the gang to keep an eye out for her too. Between you and me I don't think she needs it, you ever seen her in a fight?"

"Hell yeah, I have." He says proudly.

We don't really talk about much the rest of the way. If we do it's about cars or who could beat whom in a fight. Then I curse myself for not letting anyone know I left the house.

"Shit," I mutter.

"Huh?"

"I didn't leave a note for Darry or Soda."

"What's the deal?"

I turn to him. "Knowing Darry he'll probably call the police and have them search the woods for me and have them bring me back to the house so he can kill me."

He laughs. "You're screwed, what kind of flowers do you want on your casket?"

"This is serious, man, pull over near a payphone."

He rolls his eyes but does it anyway. I'm out of the car before it even stops and digging around in my pockets for spare change.

"Hello?"

"Darry?"

"Ponyboy Curtis, where the hell are you? By god, if you aren't home in five minutes I'll chop off your head and stick on a spike to decorate the front yard." There's something off with his voice.

I choke. "Wh-what?"

"Did I stutter?" He yells.

I'm about to beg for forgiveness when it dawns on me and I hear someone on the other line trying not to crack up.

"Two-Bit!" He loses it. "God dammit, you had me scared to death!"

He giggles. "I can't believe you bought that."

"You're lucky I can't reach through a phone, where's Darry."

"Probably at work, I came over here looking for you. Where are you anyways?"

I wrack my brain trying to think of a lie. "Uh…"

"Ponyboy," This time Two-Bit actually does sound like Darry. "Please tell me you ain't where I think you are."

"Where's that?"

"Downtown, where I told you not to go." I hear anger creep into his voice, now I'm the one whose glad you can't reach through a phone.

"No, no, I'm just headed toward the park to get some fresh air, then I forgot that I didn't leave a note." It scares me how easily I can lie.

Two-Bit grunts. "I can't believe you'd rather go on some little hike than spend time with your best buddy."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you later and you can whine all you want then."

He sighs. "Good Lord, you're getting mouthy."

"Wait! Don't forget to tell Darry I called." I say before he can hang up. I turn around and jump when I see Curly standing behind me starting another cigarette. I guess he couldn't sit still any longer.

"What are you doing?"

"Smoking a weed, what do you think I'm doing?"

I shove my hands in my pockets and kick a near by rock. "So any idea what we could do?"

He grins. "There's a pretty cool spot a couple blocks from here, a lot tuffer than Buck's nowadays."

"How are we going to get in without fake IDs, super genius?"

"Well, I've got one, maybe it's time you grow a pair and tell Darry to mind his own goddamn business. You can't do shit without him spanking your ass."

I glare at him. "Like Tim wouldn't be whooping you if he found out about half the shit you did."

"Whatever, don't worry we can get in-I know a guy." We leave it at that, I'm sure there's more to it. But it's best not to ask with Curly. If I knew one thing about him, he hates planning things out.

We don't say much on the walk there. Except when he asks my opinion on some random broad that walks past us. But I can't really say anything, because all of them have Laurie's face and the name Alice. He shakes his head at me and tells me I'm hopeless, I wish I could ask him why he even bothers.

"So I heard about you and Sylvia," He begins.

"Heard what?"

"That you were fooling around with her the other night."

I do a double take and trip on a crack in the sidewalk, Curly grabs my arm before I can fall on my face. "What? We did not fool around!"

He laughs. "It's alright, man, you ain't got to be embarrassed. She's still pretty hot."

"But I didn't, all's we did was talk."

He nudges my ribs when we start walking again. "OK, whatever you say."

When we open the door to the bar, smoke pours out. It seems to curl around us and pull us into the dimly lit room. Jimi Hendrix singing Purple Haze blasts from a new looking jukebox. I'm not use to this sort of scene and I can't help but feel overwhelmed. If Darry didn't want me hanging around Buck's he definitely wouldn't want me spending any time in this place. This is where the real criminals hang out, not some teenage hoodlums who like to get drunk and hustle pool.

A couple of guys sit at some tables in the back. They're older than me, tougher than me, and all around scarier than anything I've ever seen. They can't be from Shepard's gang, or even Brumly or the RK. They're the real deal, older than Darry, I wish Darry's here. One of them has a revolver sticking out of his jeans.

A girl sits at the bar a few chairs away from a red-eyed man, who keeps trying to keep up with the song lyrics. The girl's red curls are tangled and her clothes are rumpled. She's got a bruise on her cheek, and her dark eye makeup has started to smudge underneath her eyes, making her look like a wild raccoon. I gulp when I see the dollar bills sticking out of her bra, and realize she's a prostitute.

Curly sits on the stool next to her and orders a drink.

"Hey there, doll."

"Fuck off."

He chuckles and vaguely reminds me of Dallas Winston that night at the drive-in when he harassed Cherry Valance. "I was just being polite."

"I know what you're doing, you're too young and you probably don't got shit, so fuck off!"

"My, my, aren't we touchy? I see whatever guy bought you out got more than he was paying for."

"No, he didn't like me and replaced me with your mom."

He snorts, takes his drink, and walks off (probably to find someone who he can score with). I take his seat next to the broad.

"What do you want?" She narrows her eyes at me. She'd be pretty cute if she didn't wear so much makeup.

"Just sitting, sorry about my friend."

"'S alright. He's harmless anyway, annoying as shit, but harmless."

I nod and glance at the red-eyed man who has taken to staring at me. He gives me a drunken grin.

"What's a guy like you doing in this place?"

"I tagged along with the annoying as shit guy."

She cocks her head. "You don't look old enough to be hanging around here, you shouldn't be."

"I'm a greaser."

"You ain't a criminal. You know this use to be the place you'd go to get weapons, like some gang war parlor. Now all they sell is smack and blow."

I look over to where the guys are talking around the tables. "You don't look that much older than me." But she does, she looks older than Darry.

She smiles. "We don't get guys as good lookin' as you 'round here. How old are you."

"18," I lie and bawl my fists. They're clammy.

"Old enough," He grin reminds me of a wolf's, her eyes are glinting and she looks absolutely crazy. "We could have some fun, and it'll only cost yo-" I stand up abruptly when she starts running a hand up my shirt, the other one drops from my thigh. I don't say anything and book it out the door.

I forget all about Curly and a ride home and start walking, it's still pretty light outside so I head in the opposite direction of the car. Maybe I'll just circle around a few times till Curly comes out.

It's a bad idea-it's bad and gets worse. I don't know downtown as well as Curly, and I take a few wrong turns and wind up in a block filled with either abandoned buildings or crumby apartment complexes. I turn on my heel and head back in the direction of the stores and restaurants. I'm almost in the clear when I feel a pair of hands grab me by my t-shirt and throw me on the ground.

"What are you doing on our turf without permission, pretty boy?"

I look up to see three mean looking guys.

"I was just taking a walk," I say in a low gruff voice, you can't act scared around hoods like this, you got to act tough.

"I know this kid, man, ain't he the one who killed that soc?"

The dark haired one looks at me with new interest. "The baby Curtis?" His face splits in to a shit-eating grin. "Well, look what we have here boys."

"You're buddies with Little Ole Curly, ain't you?"

The River Kings keep circling me like predators, one kicks me in the ribs when I don't answer. I yelp. "N-no."

"Liar, we don't like liars, boy."

I think I'm about to die of fright. These guys are going to kill me, they're going to gut me like a pig and leave me to bleed out in the streets. I do the first thing that comes to mind and sweep the dark haired ones legs out form under him and run. I get about three feet before the other two are grabbing my arms. I struggle so they pull my collar so tight I choke.

"Didn't do you much good, did it, faggot?"

I'm sweating something fierce as he slowly approaches me. Of course I'd stumble into RK territory. I don't use my head. "Come on, man, just let me go."

He smiles and nods before hitting me so hard I see stars. I gasp at the pain on my cheekbone, this shouldn't hurt this bad. I've been hit, loads of times, and it never felt like this. Once I can see straight again I see metal glint on his hand, he's got a fucking knuckleduster. I taste blood in my mouth by the third time he hits me. I've never felt pain this bad, not even when I got my head kicked in that time at the rumble.

"Hey!" I hear someone yell, the voice is high and frightened. "You hoods better knock it off! I swear I'll call the cops, I got someone on the phone right now, I swear I'll do it!"

They laugh. "Go ahead, sweetheart, it's been a while since I saw Sheriff Roach."

There's the sound of something connecting with flesh, then a groan and one of the goons holding me goes down. I swing at the other one as hard as I can with my free arm and feel satisfied when his nose crunches.

"Now look what you've done, baby." The dark haired one puts his hands on his hips and gives her a dangerous smile. I turn to see my savior is a girl, not much older than me. She's holding a two by four and is white as a sheet.

She wields it over her head when the hood stalks over to her.

"Get out of here, and take your boyfriend with you."

She gives him a panicked nod before looking at me and gesturing with her head. I do my best to walk over to her. I feel the hood's eyes burning into my back; my face turns red with humiliation.

When we're a few streets away the girl turns to me. "What did you think you were doing back there?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Did you not see them pounding me?"

"You shouldn't have been walking around by yourself in a neighborhood like that." She crosses her arms and gives me an irritated look.

"Excuse me, why don't you mind your own business and stop acting like such a know it all." I want nothing more than to storm off, but everything aches and all I want to do is sit down and have a glass of water. "I'm sorry," I add. "I'm not normally like this."

She gives me a half smile and starts to take off her sweater. She holds it out to me. "Here, you might want to get all of that blood off of your face."

I chuckle. "I must look like hell." I wince when I press it a little too hard to my cheek. She winces too.

"Here…uh…I'll do it."

She wets the end of it with her tongue and starts to dab lightly at my face. Normally I would've been nervous with the close proximity, but I think those RK knocked a screw loose.

She smells like sweat, and some sort of flowery perfume. "Thanks, for saving me back there."

"Yeah, well," She grins. "I've kind of always wanted to whoop someone with a two-by-four."

The last thing I think before I zone out is how I'm getting blood all over this poor girl's sweater. And now the RK are going to be after her too all because I can't use my head.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sooooo this is a pretty short chapter. Man, I need to work on my homework and application...gaahhh. Inspiration always comes at awful times. I don't own the outsiders, even thought I'd have no problem with that.**

**Enjoy!**

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"I don't know, kiddo." Darry says from the table, reading his paper and eating some toast he looks so much like dad it scares me.

"C'mon, Dar, you haven't let me out of the house in days. I'm getting stir crazy."

"Look, if you were wanting to go to the movie house or the Dingo–maybe–even then I'd have Two-Bit go with you. But the library is downtown, and last time you just couldn't seem to get it through your thick head that you shouldn't go wandering round by your lonesome!" He starts to yell the last part.

I fold my arms and glare at the ground. It makes me pissed that he's reverted back to treating me like a ten-year-old, but he's right. It was the dumbest thing I could do to go into RK territory alone. I brought this all on myself.

I still push though. "It's the middle of the day! And last time I was in a rough part of town, I don't really think hoods get all hot and bothered to go read some books."

He narrows his eyes at me until I think he's satisfied with the amount of fidgeting I do. He reaches into his pocket and brings out some change. "That's enough to take the bus down there, but you are going to call me or Soda to pick you up, if we don't hear back from you by five, Ponyboy, I swear…"

I roll my eyes and take the change. "Jeez, Dar, I ain't going to go looking for trouble. I'm the one that got his face rearranged."

The corners of his mouth twitch and he shakes his head and goes back to reading his paper and ignoring me. I wall back to my room and grab my jacket and sneakers.

I laugh to myself when I'm finally out the door and past the gate. It's a miracle Darry even let me out of the house at all after the RK incident. It didn't help any that I lied to Two-Bit, so Darry said it was basically like I lied to him. I had walked through the door bloody, bruised, tired, and embarrassed and he had a field day. Soda was no help, he seemed almost as mad as Darry. I couldn't really blame them, my eye was almost swelled shut and I had tough looking cut on my lip.

"What the hell happened to you?" Darry's gruff, angry voice bellowed when I brushed past him into the kitchen. All I wanted right then was a cup of water–I could deal with Darry lecturing me if I just got a cup of water.

"Two-Bit was right, it's not a good idea to be downtown…at all."

"You went down town? I thought you were in the park!" Darry glared at me. "You got a death wish, Ponyboy?"

"No–I didn't go alone–I just sort of wandered off and ran into some trouble."

Soda was there then. "What kind of trouble?"

"I wandered into RK territory, they didn't like that too much."

"So you picked a fight with the River Kings?"

"No! They were the ones picking the fight, they have it out for me 'cause I buddy around with Curly."

Darry pounded his fist on the table. "Goddammit, Ponyboy, we just got social services off our backs, now the RK are after us!"

"They didn't say anything about y'all, really, there wasn't much talking going on." I gestured towards my face.

"You better wise up, kiddo, you're 16–I thought you'd wised up by now." His face was red and his hands were shaking. "But you keep pulling shit like this, use your goddamn head or I swear I'll lock you up in your room until you're 18, then I'll send you off to military school." After that he stormed out the back door.

"Sit down," Soda said in a stern voice, that mimicked Darry's.

I obeyed because I was sick of all of the yelling and also my legs ached. The next thing I knew he'd pressed a dishrag with alcohol on my cut, I hissed. "Jesus, Soda."

"Serves you right, you shouldn't have been downtown by yourself."

"Yeah, I think I got that message loud and clear."

"Well I'm glad Darry finally got through to you."

I smirked. "I was talking about the RK, I reckon they would have killed me." I opened my eyes to see Soda pressing his lips together in a firm line.

"Shit…" He muttered under his breath. "What did they do to you?"

"One of the guys had a knuckleduster, I think the damn thing cracked my cheekbone. I don't even know how I still got all of my teeth."

"Who the hell does that to a 16-year-old kid."

I looked at him warily. "Don't do anything stupid, Soda."

He ignored me and stared at something in my hand, he grinned. "Golly, Pone, wherever did you get that?"

I furrowed my brow and held up the pink sweater I'd been clenching ever since I got home, I hadn't even noticed it. It was a light, light pink and was one of the softest, fuzziest things I'd ever touched. It looked pretty gross considering it had my blood all over it. Soda was still grinning at me.

"Was she pretty?"

The tips of my ears turned red and I chuckled. "It wasn't anything like that."

"What was it like then?"

I sighed. "She stopped the RK from putting me in the hospital, she hit one with a two-by-four."

"Was she greasy?"

I rubbed my aching head. "No…I don't know, I can't remember, I think they knocked a screw loose."

"Two-Bit and Steve are never going to let you hear the end of this."

Soda didn't follow through on his threat, as far as I know anyways. I'm sure he told them how I got so banged up, not about how I got the fuzzy sweater that sat on our coffee table, ironed and folded.

There are only two other people on the bus. I guess only stiffs take the bus to the library on a summer afternoon. We only make one stop before heading downtown. A girl gets on, wearing one of them miniskirts even the socy girls are obsessed with.

I give her a sideways glance when she sits next to me. "How's your eye?"

"Uh…fine?"

She grins. "You don't remember me do you?"

"I don't think so…"

"I was the girl with the two-by-four."

I blush. "Oh, I'm sorry, I…"

"It's OK, it happens a lot."

We sit there in awkward silence for a few moments before I think of something to say. "My eyes better by the way, even though I still look like hell."

"I'm glad, I thought you were going to pass out when I found you."

"What did you think you were doing messing with the RK like that?"

"Well…it hadn't been a banner day, I guess I was already pretty worked up."

"You know they'll get you back someday," I look her in the eye. "They hold some nasty grudges."

"I don't expect they'll remember me anymore than you did."

I clear my throat. "So where are you headed?"

"Oh, I have voice lessons…it's kind of a lost cause though."

"You bad?"

"No, I'm really good, I–" She falters and bites her lip. "Wow, that sounded pretentious. I just meant I've been taking voice lessons since I could talk, so I mean doing it for so long I had to have picked something up. It's just the day I found you I had this…audition type deal, and I kind of blew it–at least I think I did." She rubs her forehead and sighs. "I'm talking too much, aren't I?"

I shrug. "What was the audition for?"

"A school, performing arts school."

"So, how'd you blow it?"

"I was so nervous I forgot the words."

"Where do you go to school now?"

"The same one you do, I just graduated."

I blush again. I just can't stop digging myself into this hole. "Sorry."

"No, I mean everyone knows who you are after the whole soc thing…that and I hear the girls talking about you all the time. So where are you headed?" She adds the last part briskly.

"The library."

"You seem the type."

"What's that?"

"One of those people that just dig books, hopeless romantic. Know what I mean?"

"Hopeless romantic?"

She laughs. "Yeah."

"Gone With the Wind _is_ one of my favorites."

"I knew it!" She looks towards the front of the bus. "My stop is coming up."

I dig in my pockets looking for extra change, but I guess the only money I had was what Darry gave me. "Man, I wish I could pay you back for lending me all that money to ride the bus home."

"I guess you'll just owe me a favor."

The bus stops and she gets up to leave.

"Wait, I still have your sweater, how should I get it to you?"

"Tulsa ain't that big, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

* * *

**A/N: Please tell me if anyone is OOC, and let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to...**

**_deviousprincess_  
**

**_sodapop393_**

**_my oh mighty_**

**_AndDownTheRabbitHoleWeGo_**

**_xxLiveLoveReadxx_**

**_YouCriedForTheMoon_**

**_bryanamarissa_**

**_Courtney_**

**_HawaiiChick_**

**_RetroSoul_**

**_dreamergirl0303_**

**_Gray_**

**_dontwakeme19_**

**_greyhoundredux_**

**_And all of you guests._**

**My apologies for typos. No matter how hard I wish, I don't own Ponyboy and his lovely gang.**

* * *

The afternoon starts out strange, and by some miracle gets even weirder–but I'll tell the rest of it later. I guess you're wondering why I got my panties in a twist; really it was because of Two-Bit Mathews. I swear that guy is going to give me a heartattack one day. I wonder if that's what Darry thinks about me and Sodapop.

Two-Bit is in a bad mood, and it's _summer_. "It's just really getting on my last nerve."

Steve and I turn our gaze from the front yard to his irritated expression. "What does?" Steve half-mutters-half-chuckles.

"Like you don't know, think real hard man."

"Are you on your fuckin' period or something? Because I'm starting to notice the similarities between you and Evie right about now."

Two-Bit scowls at him, "It's the RK, I can't do anything now without having to check over my shoulder."

"Please, since when've you been scared of the RK?"

"Since they rearranged the kid's face, that's when." He nods towards me. "I tell you I haven't been able to get shit faced in like two weeks and it's pissing me off."

"It hasn't even been a week, man."

"Shut up, Steve-o, don't act like it ain't bugging you."

Steve scoffs, "It ain't, I ain't scared of no River Kings. Worse they'll do is bruise you–now Brumly, that's different."

"What's so different about Brumly?" I ask.

Steve rolls his eyes and I can just guess what he's thinking, he's thinking I'm some stupid tag-along kid. The thought makes _me_ roll my eyes.

"Brumly and the Tiber Street Tigers I wouldn't touch with a twenty-foot pole. You remember the feud between those two back in '60?"

I shake my head and Two-Bit gets a thoughtful look, I doubt Steve remembers either–he was only 12. I bet Darry would know, but if I went around getting all curious about big time gangs like the TST and Brumly he'd skin me.

"It was bloody, man, like ten people got killed. I hear the leader's still in the pen."

"I thought the big man was Russell," Two-Bit talks through his smoke, then offers me a drag. Russell was almost as tough as Tim Shepard and twice as scary. I'd only seen him once, hadn't even talked to him, but ever since then I'd always thought he had a screw loose. Tim scared me because he was calm, but I knew he'd have no problem killing a guy if he had to. Russell scared me 'cause he'd kill a guy for the sheer enjoyment, the kind of guy that kicked puppies and chased down little kids with his car.

"No, it was his brother before that, I heard on a scale of one to his brother Russell was about a three." Steve says. I'm sure he's exaggerating, mostly because he's smirking the entire time. What a gossip.

"Let's go to the ribbon tonight," Two-Bit suggests.

"Yeah, right."

"What, I thought you said you weren't scared of no River Kings, am I right Pone?"

I grin and smack Two-Bit on the arm. "C'mon lay off, what if something were to happen to that pretty little face of his?"

Two-Bit is grinning too. "Don't worry, baby, I'll protect you." He leans over and puts his hand on Steve's leg. "You got some pretty eyes don't you, big b –"

I laugh when Steve smacks Two-Bit's hand off his leg, then slugs him in the arm. Two-Bit chuckles and rubs his arm. "Oh, I like 'em feisty."

"Get bent, I only meant Superman would never let Soda or the kid go."

"Hell, I was fixing to bring muscles with us."

"You're going to convince Darry to go to the Ribbon with us?" I snort.

"Duh, ain't no RK going to bother us with that big lug flexing his muscles."

I gag. "Dear god, please never talk about him flexing again."

"Speak of the Devil," Steve nods towards Darry's truck. He recruited Soda to go grocery shopping with him, considering he doesn't want me leaving the house by myself and also because if he left Soda alone we'd be eating cookies for two weeks.

Soda reaches the porch in three strides and is grinning like a Chessie cat. "I never realized grocery shopping was so damn fun."

"It ain't," Darry walks up smirking. "But this guy can't go anywhere without getting some girl's phone number."

Steve and Two-Bit whoop and clap for Soda, who blows kisses to an imaginary crowd.

"Hey, man, how was she like?" Steve asks.

"One of the best looking chicks I ever saw."

"Was she buying food for some fancy soc brunch?" Two-Bit pipes up,

"Nah, she was the check out girl." Darry rolls his eyes and takes the grocery bag from Soda, then heads into the house.

"Alright, now that the gentlemen is gone, was she hot?"

Soda grins. "You don't even know, man."

"Well, come on."

"Imagine Bernadette Kelly times ten."

Two-Bit wolf whistles and Steve shakes his hand out. "Well, I'll be damned, you got to let us meet her."

"Slow down, buddy, I ain't even decided if I'm going to call her back yet."

Two-Bit and Steve keep goading him into doing it. I know the real reason why–they wouldn't normally be this interested. They would have wanted to know what she looked liked then moved onto the next good looking broad they could think of. They want him to get over Sandy so bad, and I do too.

"You guys going anywhere tonight?" Darry leans against the door.

"Yeah, we were thinking about heading over to the Ribbon." Steve eyes him.

He nods towards me. "You and Soda going?"

"If you'll let us."

"Sure, it'd be good for you to get out instead of sticking your nose in a book all night."

"You coming, Dar?" Soda asks.

"Not tonight."

"Oh come on, Superman, you can't stay home on a Saturday–you don't even have work tomorrow."

He cocks and eyebrow. "Who said I was staying home?"

Two-Bit raises his eyebrow as well, while Steve and Soda exchange grins. "You got a hot date, tough guy?" Two-Bit smirks.

Darry shakes his head but I can tell he's trying not to smile.

"Hey, Dar, is she hot?"

"Watch it, fellas."

"Ooh, I think Darry's in love." Soda snickers.

Darry scoffs at Two-Bit and Steve's jeers before walking back in the house.

"He just wants us kiddies out of here so he can have the house to himself!" Two-Bit hollers, and Steve and Soda crack up.

* * *

I don't remember the Ribbon being like this. Back when I was just starting out high school it was one of the only places besides the Dingo that wasn't crawling with socs. They might've talked a good game about taking us greasers, but even they weren't stupid enough to hang around here with people like Russell lurking in the corners.

There's more smoke than I remember, it ain't as wild. I see a couple of college-aged kids sitting away from the races and shops. They've got long hair and tie-dye shirts. I bet I know what they're smoking too. I chuckle when Steve mutters a string of curse words under his breath.

"You don't think the RK will give us any trouble, do you?" I ask Soda.

He shakes his head. "Nah, this is Shepard's territory if they're going to be bothering anybody it'll be them."

The second Soda finishes his sentence Steve his dragging him towards a car and shoving him in the passenger side, he waves to me, and starts bouncing up and down his seat trying to shake the car. I laugh and turn to find Two-Bit is no longer next to me. I find him not long after, sweet-talking some short chick. I guess he's sober because she's blonde this time.

"I didn't know he broke it off with Kathy." The voice next to me makes me jump. I look over to see it belongs to Sylvia. Her brown hair is curled around her shoulders; her hazel eyes are kind of red. She looks pretty though, maybe even beautiful.

"They'll probably be back together in a week or two."

She looks at Two-Bit, "Kathy didn't deserve him you know."

"What? I always figured it was the other way around."

"You and everybody else."

"But she's so sweet and innocent."

"She ain't innocent, she sure got me good."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't drop out after Dallas died, I transferred. My parents had been planning on sending me to this fuckin' catholic school for months. The broad had planted condoms in my room, crazy right? You'd think my mama would've given up on me by then, but she hit the roof." She says all of this while still staring at Two-Bit.

"Kathy did that?" She nods. "Why?"

"'Cause she caught me and Two-Bit kissing."

I nearly choke. "You kissed Two-Bit!"

"It was a long time ago, sweetie, I bet he don't even remember it. I'm pretty surprised I did after all those shots."

"So she got your parents to send you to catholic school."

"That's why girls like her are the scariest, 'cause they're sneaky."

"I think you're plenty scary, Sylvia."

She laughs at that and turns to look at me, her eyes are sparkling but still red.

"Shit…are you high?"

"Maybe a little…walk with me."

I glance back towards the race. I don't even know if Steve and Soda are in this one. "I don't know, Sylvia…"

"Don't worry, sweetie, I promise I'm fun and I'll make sure the big bad River Kings don't touch you."

I relent, probably because everyone else I know is off somewhere else, but maybe because I'm starting to see why Dally liked her so much. She's intoxicating, electrifying, everything that comes out of her mouth seems wise and interesting. She pulls out a cigarette and I think she doesn't even need a lighter; it'll probably catch fire when it touches her lips.

"I still can't believe Kathy could do something like that."

She takes a drag. "Yep, I always knew I liked that girl."

"How'd you know about the RK?"

"Word travels fast, plus you still got a little cut on your lip."

"They give you any trouble lately?"

"Hell, I'm a legend to them, they probably think I'm some made up chick. I might as well never have existed in this town." She laughs for a long time after that.

She seems pretty high and I decide if I ever want to ask her something now would be the time. "Did you love, Dallas?"

"Kind of, he sure was a catch, yeah…I really did."

"I remember the first time we saw you, he never got over you after that day."

"When was this?"

"I think he was in seventh grade, you were in eighth–remember? You set this butterflies wings on fire just to make the other girls scream." I didn't think that was so hot, after that I kind of thought she was a maniac. "He never stopped talking about you after that, not even when y'all were a steady couple."

"I'd hardly describe us as steady…when was the first time you saw me?"

"Huh? I just told you."

She shakes her head. "No…I mean _saw_ me."

I don't know how I understand her, but I do. I blush a little. "I remember when Dal was in the cooler, you kept sweet talking Johnny. Half the time I wanted to beat you off him with a chair, I always thought you just did it for kicks. But that time you and him were walking back to his house and his mom started chasing him with a broom…you yanked her hair."

"I did do it for kicks, but Johnny was a good kid. He didn't deserve a home like that."

"No, he didn't. I reckon if Dally saw you, he'd have married you on the spot."

She looks at me. "You got a girl, Ponyboy?"

"No."

"You don't got any girls chasing you?"

"I guess not."

She grins. "Now, honey, I don't believe that for one second. Didn't that Shepard girl have it bad for you."

"Yeah, till she sent some ex-con after me."

"I always thought Soda was the heartbreaker but it's you, you must break an awful lot of hearts."

"What do you mean?"

She kisses me. Her hand his cupped behind my neck and she's kissing me, dear god, Sylvia Belle is kissing me. I never thought she'd kiss like this. I start to kiss her back before I pull away in shock.

"I'm sorry," She doesn't seem sorry. "That was too fast…anyway, I have to go."

"Sylvia…you don't have to go."

"I could fall in love with you, Ponyboy Curtis, if I stay here any longer I think I might."

I'm speechless. All I can do is stare at her.

"You find yourself a nice girl, and then you get the hell out of this shithole." With that she walks away, disappearing into the cigarette smoke and darkness. I don't think I'll ever see her again.

I'm shaken up, not because of Sylvia, not entirely anyway. I might've kept kissing her...I don't know, I'm still thinking of the real reason I pulled away. It's just when it happened only one face came to my mind, the dark haired girl who saved my life.

* * *

**A/N: Don't hesitate to tell me if anyone is OOC. Thanks for reading.**


	6. Chapter 7

**A/N: I only own Miss Cooper and nobody else...*sighs*. **

**Rated T because I said so. My apologies for typos.**

* * *

I'm embarrassed, thoroughly embarrassed about what happened at the ribbon…with Sylvia. Looking back I have no clue what I was thinking, going on a walk with her when she was out of her mind high. It makes me think of all the times I've thought Soda can get drunk off life, well I think maybe I was a little drunk off Sylvia. The girl was electric, and terrifying, she could've had me wrapped around her finger with one, well thought out line. I just hope none of the gang saw me. I'm still on edge the day after.

"Say," Steve says, throwing a carton of cigarettes onto the table between him, Soda, and Two-Bit. "Where'd you disappear off to last night?"

I don't answer at first, just watch Soda and Two-Bit make a pile of cigarettes, gum, and I swear I catch a couple of condoms being thrown in there. I assume the question is directed at me, and foolishly wonder if I can get away with not answering. It's a stupid thought – this is Steve after all.

"Wow, really? That's such an interestin' answer." He says sarcastically.

"Uh, nowhere, just walked around for a little while." Not a total lie.

"I didn't see you at all, not till we left at least." Soda says without looking at me.

"That's 'cause you got yourself a race, I watched for a little bit…I got bored."

"Well, what'd you go do that was so interesting?" Steve glances at me a little irritated now. He only wants to know because I'm making an effort to hide it, if there's one thing that pisses Steve off it's being the last person to know something.

Now Soda turns to me, a sly grin plastered to his face. "Oh, I gotcha, Pone."

"Hey, c'mon, man?" Steve nods at him.

"Pony, was with a girl." He says in a sing-song-voice. I blush.

"You're crazy, Soda." I shake my head and turn my attention back to my book, but I'm not getting off the hook so easily.

"Woah, you can't just leave us hangin'. C'mon, what's she like?"

I groan. "There wasn't a girl." I can lie too easy for my own good. I vaguely wonder why Two-Bit's been so quiet.

"Bullshit," There playing poker, they just can't forget about this can they?

"Say, Two-Bit, who was that chick I saw you sweet talkin'?" I try and redirect the attention off me.

He shrugs. "Just some little blonde I met at Buck's once, she's pretty cool." He whistles slowly then. "Sure can hold her liquor."

"Oh, she's a keeper." Steve smirks.

"At least she won't be getting sick all over me, like a specific girl I remember."

Steve glares at Two-Bit so hard I think he might hit him, but he merely takes the cigarette Two-Bit had just lit and takes a drag. "That was one time, and the only reason she'd gotten so sick was 'cause of that good-for-nothing Sylvia – gave her a whole damn bottle of Jack's."

Sometimes I wonder how Evie could stand being with Steve. Given, I did think they were good together, but he gave her the amount of faith you'd put in a child – he didn't think she could do anything. He talks a good game about her being able to handle herself, but when it came down to it he clocked any person that so much as looked at her wrong. I told Two-Bit this once and he said that's just how it's supposed to be when you're dating. But if I was a girl I sure would get annoyed with guys telling me what I could and couldn't handle, and fighting all of my battles. I didn't tell _that _to Two-Bit, he'd have accused me of being fruity.

"Sandy didn't ever touch a drop," Soda's comment interrupts my train of thought. It gets real quiet, Steve and Two-Bit look at each other. "I'm going to get a drink, y'all want anything?"

"A beer, pretty please with sugar on top." Two-Bit grins and earns a cuff upside the head from Steve.

Soda laughs and heads for the kitchen, I follow him. That's the first time in a while he's brought up Sandy, I hope that since he can talk about her so casually he's over her.

"Hey, Soda, you call back that girl from the grocery?"

"No…I don't really see that going nowhere."

"Why not?" I say disappointed.

Soda shrugs and takes a couple of gulps from the bottle of milk. "Oh, I don't know…she just wasn't my type – sure was pretty though."

I'm getting desperate now. "What do you mean she wasn't your type?"

He laughs. "Golly, Pone, what's got you so interested?" I shrug and he sighs. "She just didn't seem all that bright – not that I have room to talk."

"Soda, you're smart and you know it. Hell, you wouldn't understand half the things I tell you if you wasn't."

That earns a chuckle out of him. "I guess not, you sure do tell me something crazy things, Pone. I'm still waiting to here about where you went off to last night."

"Believe me, Soda, even I don't understand that one."

He eyes me. "River Kings didn't give you any trouble did they?"

"No," I think on whether I should tell him. I decide against it, he'll tell Darry and Darry will lock me in my room until I go to college or get drafted. "You should go finish up your poker game."

"Well…alright."

A minute or two later Two-Bit walks in. "Need something, Two-Bit?"

"Your brother forgot my beer, I swear he can be more scatterbrained than me – but he's got a hell of a lot more common sense than you."

"Huh?"

He turns around, looking me up and down, choosing his words. "I saw you."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"I don't really think you'd want me sayin' it aloud, I reckon you'd have a hissy if Soda found out."

My face goes white, of course it'd be Two-Bit to see me. "What exactly did you see?"

"Enough."

"Oh…"

"What the hell were you thinking, kid?" Two-Bit asks in the sternest voice I've ever heard him use.

"It was just a kiss, man, it didn't mean nothing."

"The hell it did, I don't care if all you did was hold hands with that girl – she's no good and you know better."

"Easy, Two-Bit, you're just overreacting."

"_Overreacting_? You know I had right mind to tell Darry, or even knock some sense into you myself, but I guess having to kiss that tramp was more punishment than superman could dish out in a lifetime."

"It was just a kiss!"

"With Sylvia," He adds.

"So what, you've kissed her before."

"First off, don't count because I was drunk off my ass and didn't even figure it out till early this year; second, it's different and you know it."

"So it's all fine and dandy for you, Steve, and Soda to go around pickin' up greasy chicks, but the minute one kisses me it's like some federal offense?"

"Oh, hell, kid. You don't think I would've laid into Soda if I'd caught him kissing that girl, it's bad enough he's still got it bad for Sandy. I sure wouldn't have took a swing at Darry, but I would have given him a hell of a talking to." He's got his arms folded and an eyebrow cocked, if he ain't the spitting image of his mother than I'm the mayor of Tulsa. "It's different for you and your brothers, me and Steve ain't ever going to get a decent girl. But you, Soda, and Darry could get anyone you wanted. You got no business hanging around with Sylvia Belle, she's more dangerous than Dallas was in her own right."

"Two-Bit, it ain't like I'm not ashamed. But she's different now, it sounds awful, but I think Dally dyin' turned her into a decent human being."

He points a finger at me. "Them are dangerous words, Ponyboy Curtis, I see anything like this again and I'll kick your ass from here to Sunday."

I nod. I underestimate Two-Bit more than I should, he's as smart as Darry when he wants to be. He may get drunk and cause more trouble than he should, but sometimes Two-Bit's the most decent of us all.

Right when I get back to the couch there's a knock at the door. I can't help but start a little when I see the person behind it.

"I hate to be turning up like this out of the blue, but I missed my sweater." She grins at me, and I can't help but blush when I remember how she came to mind when Sylvia kissed me. The way she's got her dark hair pulled up into a high ponytail – with a blue ribbon – she looks a whole lot younger than a high school graduate.

"Oh," I grab the sweater that's been folded up on our coffee table for at least a week. "There you are."

"Thanks, Ponyboy."

"I never did get your name," I say feeling a bit uncomfortable.

She smiles and sticks out her hand. "I'm Allie Cooper."

"Pony, who's at the door?" Soda calls.

I pause, not really knowing what to call Allie. "Just a friend."

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Ponyboy…I really should go."

"Did you take the bus down here, the stop is pretty far."

She shrugs. "It was a nice walk."

"Do you want me to come with you? It ain't so safe for you to be walking around these parts alone."

She grins. "Are you kidding? I already feel sorry for the hood who tries any funny business with me."

"I wouldn't worry about that, you could give Time Shepard a run for his money with that blue ribbon – absolutely terrifying." She laughs and gives me a shove.

"I'll be seeing you, Ponyboy." And with that she walks down the stairs of my porch, a small bounce in her step.

* * *

**A/N: I realize the last few chapters have been a little uneventful, but don't worry. Things are going to get a lot more interesting !) **


	7. Chapter 8

**A/N: The charming little greaser boys belong to S.E. Hinton.**

**Rated T for naughty language. Enjoy!**

* * *

"_Shit_!" Steve manages to hiss out while Two-Bit slams on the breaks. A group of junior high girls squeak and yell profanity at us. One flips us the bird.

Two-Bit grins and revs his engine and they all run away in a flock of bubblegum pink sweaters and curled pigtails.

"What the hell is your problem, man?" Steve tugs on his seatbelt, which has twisted itself around his neck. "You could've dented my fender!"

Soda chuckles, "Not to mention killed some kids."

"Good riddance," Two-Bit mutters. "I would've been doin' a public service."

"Why the fuck did I let you drive my car?"

"I honestly don't know, Stevie, it was real dumb of you."

"Why are you in such a hurry to get to the Dingo anyway?" I ask.

"Let's just say someone's down there, and they won't be down there for long if I don't haul my goddamn ass."

"Geez, Two-Bit, I thought you and Kathy were still on the rocks." Two-Bit's face turns red when Soda says it.

"It's complicated, OK?"

Steve smacks him lightly on the shoulder. "C'mon what about that blonde Pony was tellin' us about.

I just can't figure Steve out; no matter how hard I try I just don't dig him. He's as cocky as Two-Bit, with dark eyes that can be as smoldering as two hot coals in a furnace. I didn't think anyone could get as mad as Steve till I met Dally, and now it's just him, so I guess he's the maddest person I know. Boy howdy, can you get a rise out of that guy. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what Soda liked about him, but I could. He was a damn good friend, loyal and smart, and willing to put his neck on the line for any of his buddies. I decide I admire Steve Randle, even if he is a jackass 99% of the time.

"Ah, man, she was way too out there, no what I'm sayin'? All liberal and shit, I reckon if I'd have talked to her any longer she'd engaged me in some debate about woman's rights." He chuckles a bit at the end, along with Steve and Soda. I guess it's some kind of inside joke. Maybe you only understand once you get a girlfriend.

"Does Kathy know you're going to be there?"

"Well, now, that's the tricky part ain't it?"

Steve snickers. "Man, I can't wait to see your face when she takes you to the cleaners."

"She ain't going to have a cow, she knows that I know that she wants me back."

"How do you figure that, super genius?" Soda asks.

"She was making eyes at me at the ribbon," He says it with a smug sense of pride, and I really just want to smack him upside the head. He was just using that girl, I feel sorry for her. She looked like she was having a real nice time talking to Two-Bit.

Kathy spots us before we spot her.

"Well, would you look at what the cat dragged in?" She says in a kind of voice that sounds like she's about to burst into fits of laughter, then again she always sounds like that. Maybe that's why Two-Bit likes her so much.

She isn't alone; two of her girlfriends stand behind her smirking. One of them is Evie, and I have to keep myself from gagging when I see the look she exchanges with Steve. They're all dressed to the nines in clothes I'm sure they either stole or saved up months to buy. Everywhere I look these days I see miniskirts. Evie's got a black one on, with a black blouse to match. The thick eyeliner drawn around her eyes seems to give her an older, and more intimidating air. Come to think of it her long red nails seem extra sharp, I'd hate to be the girl at the end of those things. Kathy looks different. I guess she swapped out the frilly white and pink dresses; they did make her look awful young. She got her hair cut into one of those hairstyles from London, or something. All the girls say it's _mod_, I don't see what the big fuss is. The other girl only has eyes for Soda, who doesn't seem to notice, but she looks like she's about to fall over herself staring at him.

"Hey there, Kath, you're looking sharp." Two-Bit eyes her up and down.

"Don't I know it – I got a hot date." She grins at the appalled look Two-Bit gets.

"Whose the lucky guy?"

Evie wraps an arm around Kathy before she can reply. "Now that ain't none of your beeswax is it, Two-Bit?"

"None of my – you – oh you – I swear…c'mon, Kath." He pleads, but keeps glancing back at us. I can see why he's nervous, he was expecting this to be easy. And he knows he's going to have to suck up to her, but he isn't too hot to do that with us standing around eavesdropping.

"Spit out, Keith, I got to leave soon." She's the only one who can get away with doing that.

"Uh…do you think we could go somewhere, I don't know, quiet?"

"Nope," She shoots him a cheeky grin. "Go on."

"Well, look, I'm real sorry about everything and I was wonderin' if you'd let me take you out?" He rushes out.

Kathy glances at Evie, unsure, and I'd bet all my money Evie put her up to this. Evie rolls her eyes, "Aw, c'mon, Two-Bit, is that the best you got?"

The other girl cackles and Evie joins her, Kathy cocks her eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "I ain't convinced yet, Keith."

"I shouldn't have taken you for granted, Kath."

Evie and the other girl cackle some more and jeer, by now Soda and Steve have joined in as well. I just laugh.

"Keith, I'm a lady, so are you going to buck up and be a man?" Kathy pushes.

"Oh, for the love of all that is holy…I care about you a lot Kath, you shouldn't be goin' out with some random greasy hood, let me take you out, no more fightin' or nothin', you're the only girl I want to even look at." The smooth son of a bitch, and he knows it too, you can see it in the way the corners of his mouth turn up a bit. He knows he has it in the bag.

"Well…I guess," But Two-Bit already has her around the waist and is swinging her around so much a couple of customers have to duck to avoid getting hit, then he plants a big old kiss on her right in front of everybody. Steve and Soda whoop.

Two-Bit and Kathy go off to do god knows what, but the rest of us grab a booth and order a couple burgers and milkshakes.

The other girl left us to go talk with some girlfriends she recognized or something, so Evie and Steve sit across from Soda and I. They're so close to each other it's making me uncomfortable. I can't hear what they're saying but every once and a while one of them will let out a soft laugh before murmuring something else.

"Hey, Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He grins at me. "Whatever you want, kiddo."

"What did you like about Sandy so much?" Nothing else has worked, I guess now all we can do is face it head on. Maybe talking about her will make Soda realize she wasn't all that great.

He gets a far off look. "I don't know, Pone, she wasn't like any girl I'd ever met."

"What do you mean?"

"She didn't have a real good home, but she was still real nice and classy. It just made me think about all the other girls who'd turned tough and mean, she just stayed Sweet 'Ole Sandy." That reminds me of Johnny, and his drunken dad. Anybody else would've gone as bad as Dallas Winston. Johnny didn't, Johnny was better than that.

"But she lied to you," I make my voice as gentle as possible, so he doesn't get defensive.

"I know…kind of makes you wonder how you can be so wrong about a person."

"She was nice, Soda," I say and he smiles. "But you were always too good for her."

"I'm over her, you know, sometimes I look back and feel sick, but if she ever did show up I wouldn't touch her with a twenty-foot pole."

"Good," Steve's looking at us. I know he heard the whole conversation. He nods at me, and it almost seems like a thank you. I excuse myself and head outside for a smoke, I could've smoked inside but I need the fresh air.

"Hey, babydoll." I hear when I'm halfway through my cigarette.

"Fuck off."

I hear a couple of wolf whistles. "I guess you got your mouth from your brothers, no idea where you got that rack thou – _son of a bitch_!" He snarls at the end.

I can see them now. Some greased up hood his clutching his nose, Angela Shepard glaring at him, her hand still balled in a fist. There are only three of them, but they're mighty big and look mighty tough. She doesn't look scared at all, just pissed off.

Another guy steps forward, "You little whore."

She grabs a pop bottle off the ground and points it at him. "Touch me again and I'll hit you upside the head so hard you'll be certifiably retarded."

"Is that all?"

"No, then I'll cut off your dick, might be kind of hard to find though." She smirks at the end.

I'm about to go help her out when there's a loud noise. I don't turn around in time to see what happens. But I can hear the explosion and the sound of crunching metal, and the fire is so hot I swear the flames are licking my back. Someone crashed into a tree. By the way Angela hollers I assume it's one of the Shepard gang. This wasn't an accident, that whole gang is known for their skill in a drag race, and the tree is big – it isn't even that dark. The screams, the flames, the smoke, it all makes me think that nothing can stay peaceful forever. I'm caught in the middle of a war.

* * *

**A/N: Sooooo, tell me what you think. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed...I might start responding to them because y'all are so awesome. **

**My apologies for any typos.**


	8. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ahhhh I'm sorry for the wait, and it's even worse that this is a pretty lousy chapter. **

**xXxAngel-With-A-ShotgunxXx:**** Haha, you're totally right, that kid just cannot stay out of trouble.**

**Hawaiichick: I know, I've always thought Angela would be a boss. Soda is a ladies' man isn't he? Don't worry, he won't be lonely for too long...**

**greyhoundredux:**** Thank you! Sorry for the wait...**

**TheNightimeSky:**** Ummm...I love you. Oh my god, your reviews made me lawl and cry at the same time, jeez. I love me some sassy Pony too, and some sassy Steve. Dude, you are literally describing all of my feels about every character perfectly. OMG, STOP. I JUST WANT TO WATCH MULAN WITH YOU AND FANGIRL ABOUT TWO-BIT AND SODA AND EVERYBODY, GAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? Seriously, thank you for reassuring me that everyone is in character and that Sylvia's pretty chill. And, yes, it is Twiggy's hair. And I love you.**

**Violet Saphire Darling: Aw, thank you so much. Yeah, and I would give anything to have Johnny and Dally magically come back to life, but I just have this thing about sticking to canon. Oh my god, how are you so nice? Thank you so much for all of your lovely compliments, if I could hug you through the screen I would...is that creepy? **

**And thanks to all of the guests who reviewed. God, damn you guys for giving me so many feels. Again sorry for the wait and my half-assed attempt at a chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

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The object in my back pocket ways me down the entire way to the bus stop. The meaning behind it is heavier than the thing itself. When I walked out of my room this afternoon, having slept in, I didn't expect Darry to be the only one home. The guys can usually talk the boss into a day off on the weekends–at least, Soda can. Darry doesn't, Darry would never miss a day of work. Darry has just as much feeling as Soda, but I guess he lets off steam working himself ragged instead of dancing and fighting.

But the real kicker was when he held the handle of a switchblade out to me. Under any circumstance I might've had the gall to laugh, but I couldn't even conjure up a chuckle once I noticed the fresh worry lines on his forehead.

"Darry…"

"We ain't arguing about this, Pone."

"I could never cut no one."

He smiled at that. "I know, but if it's you or them, right?"

"I just–"

"End of discussion," He cut in, and then left it at that.

The blade digs into my rear as I'm sitting on the bus. It's uncomfortable, but I'd rather not whip it out and give the old lady sitting a few seats away from me a stroke.

"You look like you're about to pass out," A familiar voice sounds beside me. Allie Cooper eyeballs me until I fidget.

"It's…just so damn hot outside." I blurt out, and feel a little embarrassed about cursing in front of her.

"You have a jacket on," She tugs on my sleeve.

"Huh."

Her laugh is full and boisterous. "Did you hit your head?"

"It kind of feels like I did."

"What happened?"

I sigh and rub my palms against my eyes. "You wouldn't understand." I can't help but be cold towards her. My head pounds, and her words seem to bounce around my skull.

"You don't know that," She says, seeming more intrigued than offended.

"Yes, I do."

She rolls her eyes. "Cut the act."

"It ain't an act," I bristle. "It's greaser business, you ain't no greaser."

"What, that means I'm too stupid to understand your petty little gang war?" She sure seems offended now.

"I didn't expect _you_ to know about it."

"Why?"

I turn to look at her. "You wear ribbons in your hair and take voice lessons, I thought it was pretty obvious."

She scowls, "You think I'm the naïve one? If I hadn't saved your sorry butt, you'd be in the hospital–or worse."

"Just…mind your own business."

We sit in awkward silence for a bit after that.

"I'm sorry," I say, miserably. "Now I really feel lousy."

"It's OK."

I look at her again and return the soft smile she gives me. She's got dark hair, not as dark as Angela Shepard's, and a sharp nose. I guess she must have some Italian, maybe Jewish heritage–her skin's as dark as toffee.

"Everything's all mixed up."

She nods and looks out the window. "The sky is really blue today."

"What?"

"The sky," She says, sounding as overly interested as possible. "There are barely any clouds, look."

I glance out the window. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"I like it like this, summer's always been my favorite season. I like winter too, but just because I like the way the snow looks–for about a day." She laughs. "Autumn's the prettiest though, all those reds and oranges in the trees. Spring's OK, a little overrated if you ask me."

"What on earth are you talkin' about?"

She grins. "Seasons. What are you thinking?"

"You're crazy."

"Well, at least I got your mind off of whatever it was you were upset about."

I shake my head at her, the corner of my mouth almost pulling up into a smile. "That was a pretty good trick."

"It wasn't a trick, I just wanted to make you feel better."

"Oh, thanks. I guess you're going to another voice lesson?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yup."

"I thought you blew the try out, or something."

Her face turns red form embarrassment. "The audition, yeah, I sure did."

"Why are you still taking lessons?"

"Oh, my mom," She sounds embarrassed, embarrassed and sad. "Sometimes there'll be music festivals. All of the students give performances, at the studio I go to. She thinks there will be scouts there or something."

"Will there?"

She laughs, only not so boisterous this time. "Are you kidding, it's Tulsa."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know, I just don't know. I really thought I had a shot at getting out of here." Her words make me a little uncomfortable. She looks so small and so sad, I know I should say something, but I don't know this girl. She's foreign territory to me.

"Chances are the same thing will happen to me."

"I don't think so."

"It's true."

"Not it isn't, you're too smart for that. I don't expect you to remember, but I had AP English with you."

"Oh," I wonder how much Allie crossed over into my life, if I had ever talked to her, or accidently bumped into her in the halls. It's surprising and not at the same time, that I could forget her so easily.

"I just remember we were reading Hemingway–_The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber_, that short story by Hemingway. We had gotten to the end, and you were the first person to talk about it. When Margot shoots him," She looks at me earnestly, and I nod. "You told us that it was ironic, because in the end he had become the lion, and Margot was the white huntress."

"I like that story."

She grins. "I didn't at first, I hated Margot. But when you said that, it seemed…beautiful."

I would've been really flattered, if she wasn't kind of creeping me out. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to meet a chick that digs books the way I do. She just knows so much about me, remembers so much, it's intimidating.

"I should've remembered you," I say.

"I don't mind, us middle class kids are pretty good at blending in."

"That doesn't sound too bad."


	9. Chapter 10

**A/N: Pardon my lazy ass for the wait.**

**xXxAngel-With-A-ShotgunxXx:**** Thank you! Ponyboy will be dragged into the gang war, as will most of the gang. But I guess you'll just have to wait and see how big of a part he plays. Um, I think Sylvia will show up again in this story, I haven't really decided how the gang or anyone else will find out about their "relationship" yet. Again thank you for the review, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**you cried for the moon:**** Thank you so much! I hope this chapter measure ups.**

**TheNightimeSky:**** Oh my god, can I just I love you. And I'm so pleased that you like Allie. I wasn't really sure how people would respond to her, but—yes, very pleased. Thanks for the review! **

**Hope y'all enjoy! **

* * *

"Two-Bit, you going out tonight?"

Two-Bit shakes his head from his spot on our couch. He's been sitting there like a bump on a log for the better half of the day, his face buried in some car magazine. "I wasn't planning to."

I don't miss the glance Steve and Soda share with each other. Darry still isn't home yet. In fact, for the past couple days he's been coming home late. I've been under the impression that he's working extra hard to get the promotion Soda told me about last week. But, I've also been under the impression it has something to do with the brunette I overheard Steve mentioning.

"You sure you're feeling OK, Two-Bit?"

He flips a page. "Why do you ask?"

"Because, it's usually him moping around the house sticking his nose in a book." Steve pipes in.

"Maybe I'm just saving up for that blow out Buck was going on and on about."

Soda moves around a few cards in his hand. "Then why are you so quiet, I can't remember the last time I didn't have to tell you to shut your trap."

Two-Bit groans and sets down the magazine. "Look, if y'all are all on your period just say so—I'd be more than happy to go out and by y'all some feminine hygiene products. I mean, I've heard rumors of girls getting on each other's cycles, I've just never seen it in person before." It's difficult for him to get the last words out, because he's laughing too hard and because Steve is throwing anything he can get his hands on at him.

"I'm going out with 4," Soda says and lays down his hand.

"_Goddammit_," Steve mutters. "I was trying to get Gin."

Soda grins and shakes his head, writing the score down on a napkin. "I don't why, you try every time and always wind up losing."

"Probably 'cause you cheated."

"You cut the deck before we started," Soda replies incredulously. Steve slaps him lightly on the cheek, Soda stares at him with his mouth hanging open. A slap fight ensues.

"So nobody's going out?"

"What's got you so eager tonight, Pone?" Two-Bit asks.

"Yeah," Steve manages to get out. "Is Angela Shepard going to be at Buck's or something?"

"_What_?" I sputter.

Steve laughs. "Don't think I didn't see you coming to her rescue at the Dingo."

"She's crazy, she tried to have me killed!"

"I would be flattered if a girl liked me enough to have the shit kicked out of me." Soda chuckles.

I glare at the two of them, but they're still slapping each other so they don't pay me much mind.

"Is there another girl you're wanting to see at Buck's?" Two-Bit eyeballs me.

"Who?"

He gives me a look. "Who do you think?"

"What—no, _no_." I glare at him and nod my head at Soda and Steve.

"You sure?" He's got their attention now.

"What girl, Two-Bit?"

He opens his mouth to answer but I cut him off. "Oh, just this girl he saw me riding the bus with."

Steve leans closer. "Who?"

"Yeah, Pone." Two-Bit smirks, "Tell 'em all about this girl you met on the bus." I clinch my fists, the dirty bastard.

"Oh, she's nobody."

They've all gathered around me now, like little kids waiting to here a story.

"C'mon, stop being such a girl, tell us." Steve hits my leg.

"Who is it?"

"What's her name?"

"Allie," I blurt out, before I can stop myself. I want to bury my face in my hands, but I don't want to give the guys the wrong idea. I don't know why I said Allie's name, but she was the first girl that popped into my head, plus I had been riding the bus with her for the past week—so it wasn't a total lie.

The boys wolf whistle and slap me on the back.

"Hey, what does she look like?" Soda grins.

I chew my lip. I wish I could go crawl in a hole and stay there for the rest of my life. "Uh, she has...dark hair."

"And?"

Steve won't quit hitting me in the shoulder. "Is she hot or what?"

My face burns. "Oh…uh—er…Darry's home!" I exhale in relief when Darry walks through the door. The boys don't take their eyes off me, but I leap up and offer to help my oldest brother with the groceries.

"What's got you coming home so late, Dar?" He hands me the last of the bags.

He pauses. "Didn't Soda tell you about that promotion?"

"I mean what's _really _got you coming home late?" I smirk.

He cuffs me upside the head. "None of your business, kiddo." The corners of his mouth twitch up, my grin widens.

"OK, whatever you say, Dar."

Two-Bit slings his arm around Darry's neck when we walk through the door, and attempts to give him a noogie. Darry jabs him in the ribs and has him on the ground in about ten seconds.

Two-Bit grunts. "Ah—ow, what's for dinner, superman?"

Darry lets him go and gets up. "We ain't having dinner here."

* * *

When I walk into Buck's everything still feels surreal. After we unloaded the groceries, the whole gang packed into Darry's truck. Two-Bit was going to sit up front with Darry and I, but opted out because he said the bed sounded more fun with Steve and Soda. I heard laughter from the bed, but Darry and I didn't even exchange a glance the entire way to Buck's.

Right away Darry heads towards the basement door.

"What's this all about, Soda?"

"Two-Bit says we're meeting up with Shepard."

My eyes widen. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" He glances at Steve, who is busy laughing at Two-Bit's lame attempts at picking up a blonde sitting at the bar. "It's more serious than you think."

"Darry makes me carry around a blade—did he tell you that. Won't be long before he's handing me a heater."

He rolls his eyes and motions me over to two barstools.

"I personally would've done it if he hadn't."

I raise my eyebrows. "A blade, really?"

"Pone…the RK aren't like us."

"No kidding."

"Watch it." He smiles.

"I know how dangerous they are, Soda."

"No, you see Pone, I don't think you do." He laces his fingers together. "They don't got nothing to lose. I'll bet you a hundred dollars every single one of them has done time in the pen. And they sure as hell wouldn't get all torn up if they went back."

The blade still weighs in my pocket. "So you're saying we have to stoop to their level."

"I'm saying you've got to do what it takes to survive."

I shake my head. "Isn't that something Dallas would say, we're better than that Soda. If we let them turn us into something we're not then they really do win. Not me, Soda, what would mom and dad think?"

He squeezes his lips together. "I can't believe you brought them into this."

"They would be ashamed."

"What about when Johnny knifed that Soc, if he hadn't stooped to their level you'd be dead."

"Look where that got him."

Soda keeps tracing something over and over on the counter. It's not a picture. I guess it's a name. I wonder if it's Sandy's.

"I'm not saying you're wrong, Pone, hell some part of me is proud of you. But you don't get to be self-righteous about this."

"I don't think I have it in me, if it really came down to it I'd punk out."

Soda grasps my shoulder. "Then do it for me, and Darry. We couldn't live without you, and you know it."

"I sure wish you could hear yourself right now."

He cocks his head. "Why?"

"'Cause if you think you're dumb, after everything you just said, you're crazy."

He grins, and opens his mouth to say something when there's a loud bang. Somebody screams, in all of the commotion Soda manages to grab me and jump behind the bar where Buck is also cowering. More bangs, more screams. Soda keeps a firm hand on the back of my neck, forcing my head down. He mouths something to me but I can't hear him above all the chaos. I hope Darry, Two-Bit, and Steve are OK. The people screaming, three I think, they don't sound like my friends, I don't relax though.

The bangs stop, and we wait about five minutes before standing up. Most everybody cleared out when the first shot was fired; the remaining folks are all hiding under tables, or writhing on the floor bleeding. One guy is propped up in a chair clutching his shoulder, another still lies on the floor gripping his leg.

"Somebody help!" A man screams. His hands covered in blood, he kneels over the small form of a girl. I know she's dead the minute I look at her, I saw Johnny pass; she doesn't look any more peaceful than he did.

People have gathered around them, Soda and I joining in. The man looks all around at us desperately. His hands shake. "Jesus fucking Christ, help! HELP!"

I think I hear somebody sob.

"Call an ambulance! She's just a fucking kid! FUCK!" He buries his head in her stomach and cries.

Soda leans over and whispers in my ear, "Guess you're getting that heater after all."


	10. Author's Note

A/N: I regrettably have to tell you guys that I'm going to be on hiatus for at least a month. The computer that I use is a school computer, and those dorks are making me turn it in by tomorrow. I can't get a new computer until July, so it is very unlikely there will be any kind of update—not impossible, just unlikely. Lord, help me. How am I suppose to survive a month without my baby?

Thank all of you for reading my story and putting up with my inconsistent update schedule. I don't know what I'd do without y'all.

Love, Clemi


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: AHHHH, she's back! I just couldn't stay away from y'all. **

**Shout out to...**

_**xXxAngel-With-A-ShotgunxXx**_

_**EvenThoughImMexican**_

_**FireGoddess101**_

_**greyhoundredux**_

**and _TheNightimeSky _for some great reviews that made me want to send each and everyone of you a cake.**

**Also a shout out to...**

_**The guest, Ms. Sundae, **_**and**_** everybody **_**else that's waited for this chapter. Bless your hearts.**

**This chapter isn't all that long, and I honestly have no idea if it's a filler or just introducing characters...**

**Rated T for violence and shtuff. Enjoy!**

* * *

The girl's name was Blue Byrd, unfortunately. She had long, blonde, straw like hair. Her skin was sickly pale, and her round eyes always made her look surprised. I don't know who the guy was crying over her, I just remember her from school. She was in the grade below me. Despite her father being one of the richest men in the country, she never seemed to have any friends. Even the Socs rejected her. She was an easy target in the halls—with her buck teeth—for girls like Angela Shepard. I always felt sort of sorry for her.

We knew the cops would be there any second, so Darry grabbed us and we hauled ass back home. No one would be getting blitzed at Buck's for a couple weeks. There were rumors going around, this time, it'd been shut down for good.

I figured out that Tim Shepard had asked Darry to side with them for a rumble.

"They set a date?" Steve asked, seeming much too eager to fight a gang of psychos.

Apparently they were having a little bit of trouble getting hold of the leader.

"You didn't accept did you?" Darry didn't answer me, so I assumed he had. None of the other guys looked conflicted at all. I knew they liked to fight, but the only rumble we'd ever had with a hardcore gang was the Shepard outfit—even then Tim had the grace to call it a fair fight. "What about Brumly and the TST?"

Two-Bit answered me, "Tim don't really trust Russell, can't say I blame him. And if he picks TST, Brumly'll go straight over to the RK." More anxiety set in. We might be able to take the RK, but the RK _and_ Brumly is a long shot.

So that's why I'm back in the front of Darry's truck, the three musketeers in the back. I guess there's still unfinished business with the rumble, because Tim is holding a bonfire in the field near the river bottom. Steve says the RK won't dare touch us there, I thinks he's full of shit. This time there will actually be a place for them to burn our bodies. Maybe they'll tie Shepard to a stake, like the Puritans use to do to witches.

The place is swarming, just like Buck's only blazing hot, this time it truly is a living hell. Instead of short skirts and kitten heels, there's short-shorts and flats. Right after we park, Darry's out of the car and loping towards Tim and his right hand man, Richard or Rich.

Two-Bit slings an arm around my shoulders. "That looks like a fun little therapy session, huh?" He howls and takes a slobbery sip of his drink. Beats me how he already got one.

I want to go find Curly, the safest option while being here. But the mass is so loud and alive, I feel pretty overwhelmed. I find myself in an empty truck bed. My head already pounds, so I plop down, and lean my head in my hand.

"Mind if I keep you company?" Someone says from in front of me. I swallow a groan, and look up to tell her she can have it all to herself (like I want some greasy chick hanging all over me), but I stop when I really _look_ at her.

"Huh?"

She smiles. "I was just wondering if I could join you."

"Mm—yeah."

My tongue feels unnecessarily thick and my face burns. I wouldn't be so lame, except she's got one of those faces that makes you want to skip through a field and pick daisies. I mean, boy, I couldn't stop looking at her. She must've noticed, because she grinned some more.

"What's your name?"

"Ponyboy Curtis."

She grins even wider, I expect her to laugh at me. "_Ponyboy Curtis_." She says, like she knows something funny I don't. "Your brother the big 'ole muscly one talking to Tim?"

"Yup, that's Darry."

"You in a gang, Ponyboy?"

"Uh…no."

She nods. "Well, then what are you doing here?"

"Well, me and my buddies stick together—couldn't really call it a gang—Tim wants us to side with him."

"I'm sorry about that," I barely hear her. I spot Soda, and some blonde hanging all over him. I catch his eye, he glances down, then glares up at the sky. I smirk.

"My small talk borin' you?" I look back to her. Her eyes are so dark they're almost black, and they glitter like she's in on a joke I'm not. She somehow manages to look mischievous and vulnerable at the same time.

"No…"

She looks out at the crowd. "I don't know what I'm doing here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I feel like I should be here, but I want to be anywhere _but _here."

I furrow my brow. "You don't seem like the kind of girl Shepards usually keep around."

"Really?" I nod. She leans in closer and lowers her voice. "Do you want to know a secret, Ponyboy?" I feel lightheaded, she keeps saying my name like I'm the most important person here. "It's all my fault."

"What?"

She looks sad now. "Everything, all because I didn't get tough when I needed to."

I blink, realization starting to dawn on me. "What's your name?"

"Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't ask that."

"Alice?" I ask again. But she ignores me, and instead stares out at the long grass surrounding us.

"Ain't that beautiful?" The lightning bugs have come out, they fly low to the ground, and remind me of when I use to catch them with Soda. "Ponyboy, I feel like a teddy bear with too much stuffing inside. I just keep gettin' more and more. I'm breaking at the seems, torn from the inside out." She wipes at her face, she's crying.

"It ain't your fault."

She sniffs. "Would you help me, Ponyboy?"

"Sure."

"I mean, with anything? If I ever need help?"

"Of course."

She leans her head on my shoulder, and it occurs to me that she might've been drunk this whole time.

"I felt like I could trust you from the minute I saw you. Curly says you're real smart, and good at listening. Oh Ponyboy, what's a nice kid like you doin' with someone like Curly?"

"Curly's my buddy."

"Curly likes to jump black folks. I don't even think he does it 'cause they're black, but people like Curly always need an excuse to fight." She licks her lips. "Them Shepards are always looking for an excuse to start something. I think that's what makes it worse. I'm just Tim's excuse.

"And them black folks can't help it. They're easy targets, anybody'd stick up for Curly, before they would a black kid. I don't got nothing to complain about compared to them.

"You know the Socs use to push us around. Ain't it funny how they're better now? Spreading that love and peace mumbo jumbo? You don't see them preying on black folks—that's us. We couldn't wait to get rid of the Socs, but they gave y'all greasers a reason to fight. Now there's nobody giving y'all a reason to hate, so you go looking for it. We're just like Socs now, starting trouble where it don't belong."

The whole time she cries into my shirt. "It really is my fault, Ponyboy. I lead him on, I got drunk and teased him just like all the other girls at Buck's. Don't you see? I don't even care anymore, I just wish it'd would all stop. I hate it, I hate me." She rambled on. I rubbed her back. A few minutes later she lifted her head up and wasn't crying anymore.

"Are you OK?"

She shrugged. "No, but I feel better now."

"Well, howdy Miss…" Two-Bit strides over to us and holds out his hand. I really wish he would leave, thinking that she probably doesn't want some wisecracker bothering her. Alice grins, and I'm left even more confused than when she first started ragging on Curly.

"Alice."

"I see you met my buddy, Ponyboy."

She looks in between us. "Y'all in the same gang?"

"Yeah," Two-Bit sticks his left palm in the pocket of his leather jacket, letting his thumb hangout. He takes a drag from a cigarette, pretending to be a right gentleman. Alice chuckles. "Timothy practically _begged _us to side with him, and we couldn't _possibly _turn down a poor soul in need." He says with a bad imitation of a lockjaw. She laughs some more, even though she was going on and on about how much better the Socs are than us only moments ago.

I glance over at Shepard, Darry's gone, and he's talking with Russell and some guy from the RK. I stiffen.

"What are _they _doing here?" I hiss at Two-Bit.

Two-Bit's still running his joke, so he raises his eyebrows. "Well, look who at Mr. High an' Mighty."

Alice answers me. "I guess Brumly's siding with the RK," she motions to the other guy. "That's Lenny's right hand man, Ray." I almost snort. I didn't expect the leader of the RK to be named Lenny.

Two-Bit gasps. "My _God_! In our own midst!"

"Two-Bit," I scold. Damn, I'm really starting to sound like Darry. "You think they're setting a date?"

"No other reason Lenny'd send Ray…" Alice trails off. I catch Ray glaring at her. Two-Bit does too, and in a split second the shit-eating grin is wiped clean off his face.

"Hey, girly, I think you'd best skedaddle." He jerks his thumb over to the bonfire.

She looks at Ray a moment longer, and for a second I think she'll march over and smack him on the head. But instead, she turns to me, and smiles. "I had a real nice time talking to you, Ponyboy Curtis."

Once she leaves Tim's fists connects with Ray's chin like a gunshot. It's so quick I barely catch it. All I can think is things are going to go south real fast. Two-Bit grabs my collar and hauls me over to where Steve and Soda wait. I look for Darry, I can't find Darry. I pray to God he has the good sense not to get involved. Tim and Ray duke it out for a quite a bit, before some more of the Shepard gang decide to join in on the fun. Two tackle Russell to the ground. Probably won't hold him long considering he's bound to have a blade on him.

"Dar!" Soda shouts, relieved once my eldest brother makes his way over to us. "We cuttin' out or what?" Darry merely shakes his head and continues to watch the fight.

It doesn't take long for the two suckers to realize they are wildly outnumbered. Even if Shepard's gang isn't particularly huge, we're here, and friends of Tim's and friends of friends of Tim are also here. Russell helps up Ray, then says something to Shepard I can't make out. It's probably a death sentence.

"Did they set a date?" Steve asks Darry.

"They were going to, but…after that…who the hell knows."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Of course right when I got the new laptop I also got a serious case of writer's block. This chapter's a little shorter than I would've liked. **

**Shout out to...**

_**xXxAngel-With-A-ShotgunxXx**_

_**FireGoddess101**_

_**EvenThoughImMexican**_

_**Garnet86**_

**and the guest**

**Rated T, because this chapter is kinda dark. **

**The gang belongs S.E. Hinton, to my dismay.**

* * *

The Shepard's Chevy rolls up outside my house, and I sit on the porch again, reading. Only, this time, I've swapped out _Catcher in the Rye_ for _The Great Gatsby_. I really have no clue why—the book bores me to death. I just know that I really need to stop reading about rich people.

When I see the car, I have a right mind to head into the house and grab the shotgun I know Darry hides under his bed. I am in no mood to deal with Curly Shepard, after all the drama his family's been causing Tulsa. I use to have respect for Tim, but not anymore.

He is smart like Dallas was, cool and tough. But he runs a gang, and even compared to Brumly, the hoods in the Shepard's outfit are just that—hoods. And when it all really comes down to it, it won't matter how tuff his gang is when he's dead.

"Ponyboy," I look up in shock at the timid voice behind the wheel. Maybe not timid—timid isn't something that I would use to describe Alice.

I head over to the passenger side window immediately. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help."

"With what?"

She sighs. "I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that."

I glance back at the house, if I go somewhere without letting Darry know he'll rip me a new one. "Alice I can't go downtown or anything, my brother…"

"No, the house ain't far from here." She smiles, expecting me to climb into the seat. She laughs when I don't. "You promised me you'd help if I ever needed it."

I rub my palms on my jeans. "What do you need help with?"

"I got an appointment. I just don't want to go alone."

I get into the car, against my better judgment. I shouldn't be scared of her. Alice is small, her wrists slim and dainty. But there's something about her, the same way there is about Sylvia, something dangerous.

"I'm real sorry about how I acted at the bonfire. I was pretty far gone."

We drive in silence for a while after that. It isn't particularly uncomfortable, but something unsaid hangs in the air, and I can't figure out what it is. There are so many things I want to ask her. But I can't stop thinking about how good she looks even with bags under her eyes. My cheeks permanently burn when I'm around her. I'm not even sure it's because I dig her.

Soon she slows down to pull up in front of a house, in a middle-class neighborhood. The two-story home is surrounded by a white picket fence, and a garden, full of yellow and purple flowers my mother would've loved. That thought makes me sad, and I barely register Alice taking off from our spot in the street. I start in surprise.

"Was that the house?"

"Yup." I glance at her. Her teeth clenched just as tight as her hands are on the wheel. "Do you think I'm selfish?" She blurts before I can ask what the hell she's doing.

"No…" I hardly know the girl.

"Then why do I feel so goddamn awful?"

We circle around the block again. She pulls up next to the house again. I debate whether it's worth it to even open the door, when she turns the wheel and takes us back down the street again. She bangs her hand, hard, against the dashboard once we're at the stop sign.

"I shouldn't have to feel this way. I didn't ask for this, I don't _want _this." She breathes heavily in and out of her nose. "He's the one who should be dealing with this." Whether she's referring to Tim or Lenny, I'm not sure.

The next time she pulls up next to the house we stay. I don't think she's capable of driving off again even is she wants to. She looks to be on the verge of tears, but manages to hold them in instead of weeping into my shoulder like she did at the bonfire. Maybe she's tougher than I give her credit for.

"Why'd do you bring me here?"

"To talk me out of it," She looks away from me and out her window. "Or make sure I go through with it—I don't know. I just can't do it alone."

"Do _you _want to go through with it?"

"I want to go to college." Her voice shakes. "I want to get out of this miserable town and start somewhere fresh. I…I've got to get rid of this thing, 'cause it's going to trap me." She keeps staring out her window. "I'm going to hell."

"There ain't nothing wrong with putting yourself first." I say timidly.

"Have you ever had something happen to you…and you want to be over it. But you can't, because you can't stop thinking about it, like it plays over and over in your head. And everything is just so…unbelievably awful. You aren't even you anymore, you're life isn't yours."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "When my parents died. Everything still feels wrong."

"Does it ever get better?"

"No."

She looks at me, her charcoal eyes brimming with tears. "It isn't fair. Why can't it get better?"

"Because, it just gets different. All you can do is accept it, and then you'll find people in your life that are worth it."

She squeezes her eyes shut, a few tears leak out the corners of her eyes. "C'mon," She gets out of the car and heads toward the door.

"I thought you weren't coming." An older woman says after she opens the door. She and Alice share a look before heading inside.

The kitchen is the first room we come to. A chair has been set next to the table, towels placed underneath it. A bowl of water sits nearby. The old woman bends a coat hanger into a somewhat straight shape.

She nods her head at me. "You should go wait in the living room." I glance at all of the supplies in the kitchen. Alice's sick expression only makes me feel sicker. I gladly leave to take a seat on the couch.

Hours seem to pass by. I nearly doze off against the armrest. When it's over, the old woman stands protectively next to Alice. A blanket has been wrapped around her shoulders, she doesn't meet my eyes, but I can tell she's been crying. I lead her out to the car. She hands me the keys, and gets into the backseat to lie down. We don't talk at all until we get back to my house.

"Are you sure you can drive?"

"I'm sure."

I nod toward the porch, where Two-Bit sits smoking a cigarette. "I can get Two-Bit to take you."

"I need some time to think." She chews the inside of her cheek. "Thanks, Pony. Curly was right about you."

I don't wave to her when she pulls out of the driveway. It'd feel too phony if I did. We meet each other's eyes, and I know now that I understand her. The sense of mystery she had is gone, and I no longer find myself blushing when she smiles at me. I could never think of her like that after everything. All I see in her face is sadness and grief, and it just keeps reminding me of all the people I've lost. But I'll still help her with anything, if she asks me.

"Where've you been?" Two-Bit asks between drags.

I sit down next to him on the porch swing. "Helping out a friend." He glares at me when I take the cigarette from him. I laugh. "What's with you lately?"

"Cathy's moving to California." I inhale right as he says it, and nearly cough up a lung.

"Shit, I'm sorry man. You guys broke up, huh?"

He watched me carefully. "You know, I took your advice. I told Cath that I was serious about her. Then right out of the blue she tells me about this uncle she has in San Fran."

"Did she take it bad?"

"She asked me to come with her." I blink. "There's a job offer waiting for me out there. We could start a family together, Pone."

"What are you going to do?"

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. "I don't know."


End file.
